Monday, February 14, 2011

Day 4- and another rant...

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

hmm... which habit to choose? I guess the one I really wish I didn't have is the habit of holding onto my feelings. I'm not the type of person who lets things happen and then gets over it. No, I obsess overanalyze every facet of events, pick apart little comments/actions and allow myself to get overly angry/sad/hurt by the situation. I know this isn't good for me, I know for a fact it has damaged and ended several important relationships in my life... but I just can't stop. I wish I could just get over things and move on, really I do... I'm just not sure how... I still look back on things that happened 7 years ago and get upset with the people involved... sigh. 

Funny how this topic comes up today... today when I was made disgustingly aware of the fact that you can't trust ANYONE. That people who are nice and supportive to your face can easily turn around and then do shady things behind your back. I mean, I know that there are very few people in my life that I can truly trust. These are the people who have your back no matter what, who would throw themselves under the bus before screwing you over. I know who those people are, but I NEVER thought that the people I consider my "friends" on facebook would do such shady things... I know that some people I am "friends" with on FB are not truly my friends, but I was unaware that I was friends with people who are malicious and hateful, for no apparent reason. So, if you are reading this, and you have recently screwed me over, please know that I am aware of what you did, I am (in about 30 seconds) unfriending you, and I want you to know I am ashamed to know you.

And yes, I will perseverate on this for the next couple of weeks, possibly even longer. Clearly this is a habit I won't be kicking in the near future.

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