Monday, May 9, 2011

Hip-1, Amanda-0

I think I've mentioned my hip issues on here before, but I'm too lazy to go find the post (if there is one) so just a brief recap, I have some issues with my right hip, due to an old dance injury. Basically it aches all the time and if I do too much it can result in searing pain. To make matters worse when my hip pops out (literally it pops out of alignment which is painful AND looks kinda creepy) it radiates pain up my back, making me limp like a little old lady. 

This started the summer of 2008, right after I graduated college (and stopped dancing). My doctor said I probably injured it dancing and then continued dancing on it for awhile (maybe even years) before is started bothering me. He said since I was always dancing my body was just used to it, but that scar tissue was building up around the joint. I was in physical therapy for awhile until I got kicked off my parent's insurance and then I haven't gone back since getting insurance again because 1) it's expensive and I'm cheap and 2) I learned how to manage it at physical therapy so why pay to do stretches I can do for free at home (though I do miss the electro-therapy... that was heaven)

I digress. Back to my hip. Since I lost so much weight last year, my hip has been significantly better. Something about not lugging around an additional 30 pounds that helped it stay in place better... weird how that works. However today my hip decided to revert to its old, evil ways. I was about 15 minutes into my 6-Week, 6-Pack workout (haha, I just almost peed myself laughing about the thought of me with a 6-pack) when I felt a twinge in my hip. No big deal, I thought to myself, I must have just moved funny. 5 minutes later though, the twinge had grown into a throbbing, sharp-shooting agony. I collapsed into a pathetic, sweaty heap on the floor and just felt like crying. I try so hard to be "good" limit my junk, work out 5-6 days a week all in an vain attempt not to be a blimp. Despite all my good intentions, my body keeps betraying me. I want to scream at my hip that I'm only 24-damn it! It needs to stop acting like I'm 70! 

It's just so frustrating to feel like I don't have control (yes, I'm a control freak, no, it doesn't bother me). It's not that I'm too fat or out of shape for my workout, I could actually handle that better with the mindset that I will ease into it as I get stronger... my body just can't handle it.

Thank goodness for my amazing hubby, who happened to call mere minutes after my almost-meltdown. He encouraged me to do some yoga (which helped some) and made me feel less guilty about quitting during my workout. I hate to admit defeat, but he brought up a good point that if I push too hard I will end up really hurting myself.

{sigh} so now I'm sitting on the couch feeling pathetic, fat, and lazy... oh yeah, and my hip is still killing me...


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