Monday, June 13, 2011

A good wife

If you're reading this thinking you'll get all this advice on how to be a good wife, just stop now, cause this isn't that kind of post. Actually, this is that kind of post where I show all my readers just how much I fail at being a good wife.

As out second wedding anniversary approaches, I am becoming reflectful (hmm.. weird how spell check says that's not a word, I'm just gonna assume spell check is wrong here) of all the ways in which my husband is the better spouse, and I am a failure. And just cause I like to share, here is a list of all my spousal shortcomings that I can think of at the moment.

Cleaning: he does the majority of it... in fact, during the first year of marriage, I never cleaned the bathroom, in the year since that... it's happened like 4-5 times. Yes, I do all the dishes and pick up quite a bit, but it usually takes quite a bit of prodding or the threat of friends coming over and seeing my pit of a house.

Cooking: Yeah, I don't cook. I can manage a packaged mac & cheese or a frozen pizza. Anything more involved than that leads to an epic fail. So Drew cooks, and I lounge on the couch or stand next to him grumbling assist

Puppy-care: I love my puppy, really I do. But why the hell does she need to go out all the time? Especially when it is cold/raining/snowing/windy/really hot as it is prone to be at least one of those a day in Maine. Therefore I attempt to guilt Drew into taking her out as much as possible... he also may or may not (okay, he totally does) get up 10 minutes early everyday to take her for a walk. 

Bill paying: Ha, haha... yeah... I don't even know the passwords to our online banking, or when the bills are due... or even which bills we have...

House projects: In my defense on this one, I don't know how to do sheetrock, plumbing, electrical, trimwork or any of the other construction skills my darling husband acquired via 5 years of construction work... therefore I am relegated to a Vanna White-esq role of handing over tools and running to get materials that are in other parts of the house... and I would never whine and moan at this task... no never. 

Taking out the trash: As I write, I am being lectured about this one... apparently one shouldn't add their chinese food box to the top of the trash when it is already above the trash can line...apparently when one notices that said trash is at the top of the can, one should bring it may or may not be lectured about this on a (at least) bi-weekly basis

Filling up the tank: I tend to let my gas tank get as low as it can go and still move. It drives Drew nuts... mostly cause he always goes to drive it somewhere when it's on E, like the other night when we went to get Chinese food... we had to stop on the way to get gas... oops. 

Yard Work: I'm an "inside" girl... unless I'm hiking, at the beach, or playing outside in which case I love the outdoors. Granted, I totally could mow the lawn as we have steal once a week from his parents a riding lawn mower. Can't tell if Drew doesn't trust me with it or just likes doing it, but he never wants me to mow, so I usually use that time to nap or cuddle with Zoey and then spend the last 5 minutes frantically cleaning so it looks like I was working the whole time... I think I have him fooled (Hi hun!)

Being needy: I need kisses and cuddles, oh about all the time. I am very affectionate and the hubs? Eh, notsomuch...somehow I always get my way :) 

The biggest wife fail? My one-track mind... when I get my heart set on something, I will obsess, whine, beg, question and badger him into the ground. Because, of course, the things I desperately want, just so happen to be thing things Drew wont or can't give me... and it makes me depressed, and therefore more obnoxious

Why am I telling you all of this? Good question I'm not trying to get pity... nor to brag about my husband (though, hello, he's freaking amazingness). Actually... I was hoping my readers could offer me some insight as to why on earth my husband is still with me after more than 8 years of this shiz??? Honestly, as 1/2 of this equation... I just don't get it. I must be pretty hot stuff in order for him to deal with all of the above...hmmm, flattering. 


  1. LOL! I thought that I was bad! I guess he just loves you :) Have you heard that 'when a man loves a woman' song? He'd sleep out on the rain, if that's the way you say it should be :)

  2. Awww. Your poor thing - you're worse than me. hahah JK! I'm surprised Ronnie puts up with my crap but I guess that's why our guys put up with us! :p

  3. Role reversal isn't being a bad spouse! haha! My fiance acts just like this and I still love him. :) Well not technically... He still does a lot. But the point I'm making is your describing primarily wifey roles and just because he does them and you don't you've got other good things to contribute I'm sure! :)
    p.s. Stopping by from FTLOB!


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