Tuesday, June 21, 2011

More Letters (Because clearly, I'm disgruntled)

Dear rude secretary at the district I interviewed in,


Good morning, you may remember me, I'm the person you snapped at for wanting a little information. Indeed I understand that there were a lot of interviews, and I am oh-so sorry that many people in the office are at lunch, but, as the "face" of the district, you should probably check that attitude. All I wanted was to know who I could speak to, I'm sorry if answering questions is difficult for an administrative assistant, perhaps another line of work is on order.


Sincerely,
Disgruntled, unemployed teacher who still has no answers




Dear skin,


I get that I'm super stressed. The whole not-having-a-job situation lends itself well to the exhausted, heart-palpitating stress feeling. However, did you really had to add insult to injury by breaking out on me? Really? That was necessary? I haven't broken out like this since middle school. So thanks a lot for leaving a stressed out 24-year old woman with the skin of a prepubescent grease ball.


With love,
Not in need of breakouts, Amanda 




Dear phlebotomist at the Dr.'s office,


I am really sorry that I started crying and acting like a big ol' baby. Blood freaks me out, my own freaks me out even more, and after the first attempt yielded nothing but multiple sticks and poking around, I got a little emotional. Thank you for bearing with me while we tried the other arm and ultimately got the blood you needed. A double thank you for distracting me by asking about Zoey, I appreciate your kindness and sensitivity.


Sincerely,
The 24-year old baby from this morning


(see not all my letters are angry!) 


Dear Zoey,


While I understand that you were tired towards the end of our walk today, lying down halfway up the next-door neighbors driveway and refusing to move is not an appropriate solution to your problem. We were a mere 100 yards from our own house, it's not as though you couldn't make it that far, and your made your Mama look awfully silly carrying you down the street. In the future, please buck up and straggle the short distance home.


Love,
Your Mama, whose neighbors watched her carry you down the street today 

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