Sunday, July 31, 2011

Thank You

Thank you to everyone who commented on my post about my grandfather's death. Your kind words and support really mean a lot to me. Today was his wake which managed to both heart-breaking and heart-mending at the same time. While it was horrible to see him and truly acknowledge that he is gone, it also let me see him and truly acknowledge that he is gone. I've been going around this week knowing that he really is dead, but not really believing it. While it was hard to be there, it felt like a good step in the healing process.

Tomorrow morning we are going back the funeral home for our final good-byes and then having the actual funeral. While I know it will be another long and exhausting day, I know it is what we all need, and that I will feel better when it is done.

Tomorrow I also have to do a reading at the funeral. Which terrifies me. I know the place will be packed (the wake was packed today too, my grandfather was a very loved person) and I will have to stand up in front of everyone, hold back my tears, and read aloud... it will be tough, but he would have love it. I know he is looking down on us and adoring all the attention he has been getting. He would be so proud to see his whole family gathered together and to see all the friends and family that showed up to pay their respects.

On a more entertaining front. Today my whole family watched a home video of one of my cousin's 1st birthday. The best part? After the party where we get to watch my older cousin drop my then 1-year-old sister on her face... priceless. Having my cousin rewind the tape 6 or 7 times so we could relive the moment again and again? Tremendous. Absolutly tremendous.

Thursday, July 28, 2011


I have very few regrets in my life. No, that doesn't mean I am perfectly happy with my life. I have a million things that, if given the choice, I would do differently, but I have very few things that I truly regret.

My grandfather passed away yesterday.

To explain my regret, I need to back track a little. About two weeks ago on Saturday, I spent the day with my mother's side of the family, including my grandfather. He was going in for a major operation on Monday, so the family was getting together to spend some time with him and to make plans for who was going to be staying with my grandmother while he was in the hospital and n recovery (my grandmother has Alzheimer's and can't be alone for long periods of time). I spend a lot of time with my grandfather that day. We talked a lot, he was scared. He was scared that he wouldn't make it through the operation, he was scared of leaving my grandmother. The part that broke my heart was that he wasn't really afraid of dying; he was afraid of leaving my grandmother, that's just the type of guy my grandfather was.

The surgery went great. After a few days he was up and walking, moving around, complaining about his aches and pains. He was his usual self. Last Sunday he was complaining to my little brother about his lack of bladder control. He was moved out of the hospital and into a nursing home for rehab. We were all so excited about how well he was doing, how quick his recovery was.

Tuesday night I got a call that my grandfather had taken a turn for the worse and that they were all heading up there shortly to be with him. Drew and I headed up (about an hour away). The whole way I was wondering about how bad he was, what had happened, and how long he would have to be in the hospital. I was in no way prepared for what I saw when I entered his room in the ICU. My mom's entire family was there. There must have been 25-30 family members in that room with tear-stained faces, clustered around his face.

I'm going to stop with the details right now, because it is too hard to re-live it all right now. Tuesday night we all sat with him, held his hand, spoke to him, and prayed. At 10:10 Wednesday morning he passed away. Several of his children were with him at the time.

My regret? I didn't go see him last weekend. I went on a canoe trip with friends. I took for granted that since he was doing so well, he would quickly recover. I took for granted that he would be okay... I was stupid. I should have gone to see him in the hospital last weekend, just to talk to him one last time. I don't know if he knew I was there Tuesday night. I don't know if he heard my good-byes or my promises to let his ghost haunt the rocking chair in my bedroom (long story, but it was a conversation we had weeks ago that involved his grandfather rocking in a rocking chair to let him know he was okay). I deeply regret not taking the time last weekend to see him, and I don't know if I can forgive myself for it.

I miss him already. It's stuck in the back of my head and in the bottom of my heart. I've been at work the last few days, keeping myself busy, but the thoughts keep creeping in to remind me that he's gone, and this wave of grief just crashes over me. I've never lost someone this close before, and I know I'm lucky, but it just hurts to know he won't be there any more. I can't ever again stick my tongue out at him, or tease him about only wearing blue (no joke, pretty sure ALL his clothing is blue). I can't help him stand up anymore or wrap my arms around him... he's really gone.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

KSK's Giveaway and a request for prayers

KSK over at The Real Housewife of H2Oville is doing a giveaway this week, however she and I talked about how she should forget the whole "random drawing" game, and just give that cute cupcake apron and cupcake recipe book to me. I'm hoping she will go along with my plan, but just in case I guess I will tell all my readers about it so I can get another entry into the drawing...just in case.

In less perky news, my grandfather is seriously ill right now. He had a major operation a week and a half ago. Up until yesterday he was doing great, however he has taken a terrible turn for the worse. I spent last night at his bedside, and although he wasn't alert... he knew that his children and grandchildren were there with him. Please, just keep Gerry in your thoughts and prayers today. He is an amazing man, a wonderful grandfather and I am heartbroken at the thought of not having him here anymore.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Why I don't do outdoor canoeing a river

I am NOT an outdoors girl... as in I hate getting dirty, bugs, and animals that pinch, poke or bite. Why, you might ask, would I go on a trip that involves an entire day canoeing on a river? Cause the hubs likes it... and he made me. Just kidding, I agreed to go... not sure why, but it was actually pretty fun minus the whole paddeling a canoe thing.

Saturday morning after Zumba I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off (omg, do not EVER google that's not pretty!!!!) to pack everything and get ready to go. Luckily my husband is a-freaking-mazing and he got up early to drop Zoey off at his parents (they were taking her to camp for the weekend) AND go grocery shopping. Like I said, he's awesome. We headed "up-North" and after 2+ hours of driving made it to a friend's family camp. The rest of the day consisted of sunbathing, hanging out, and this:

I know I posted month's ago about our friend's cannon and how I hadn't gotten any pictures or video the last time he set it off, so here it is. It may be redneck of me, but I love this freaking thing!

We loaded up some canoes

Sunday morning we loaded up our canoes and drove another 2 hours north to the river. About a mile after starting out, we ended up at this sweet rope swing. I was chicken at first, not gonna lie, but I ponied up and tried it. Clearly I am lacking in the upper body strength area, but it was still fun and even more fun to watch other people doing it. I let our friend's mom take pictures of this because I had to swim across the river to get to the swing, so I dont have any great pictures of it, but it was still pretty cool.


Rope swing and other paddlers trying not to get hit

Swimming, it was hot out!
Later we stopped at a small beach and noticed this weird track in the hill across from us. There was also a bucket at the bottom of the hill. Putting two and two together, we did this: (not me, I didn't want mud all over me, gross)

Like I said, all our stops were awesome, it was just the paddeling a canoe thing that I wasn't a fan of. Luckily, I've got this guy:

He's got some biceps of steel and loves his wife enough to let her lie in the front of a canoe and work on her tan while he paddled and steered (btw, the tan looks awesome!)

So overall, the weekend was a lot of fun, but exhausting. I needed a weekend to recover from my weekend. Alas, I had to go to work today, and the gym, cause I was a fatty this weekend.

Monday Moo

I know I said earlier that I was going to do a "real" post about my weekend, but that requires effort and though and I haven't eaten dinner yet. So for now it's a Monday Moo. After dinner I swear on my life that I will blog for reals.

1. how often do you post something on your blog?  do you find that any particular day is better than another?
I try to post every day or every other day. Some times it's blog hops, sometimes a quick note, and other times its a full on analysis of my life. I don't have any days that are "better", it all depends on my mood, what I have for time, and most importantly: what I have for inspiration. There are days where I have 10 things that happen that each need thier own post and then I wont have anything that I "need" to post about for a week... it's random... kinda like me :)

Oh Crap!!!

I was featured today on For the Love of Blogs, go check it out!

That wasn't the "oh crap" part. That part is the part that I haven't blogged for days, and my last post was rather blah. So, if you're visiting from FTLOB, please, PLEASE, PLEASE go read some of my other posts so you can get an idea of what this blog is really like before you write me off completely (if you want to write me off after reading a couple of posts I totally understand that).

The other "oh crap" part is how busy I have been since my last post, thus the lack of blogging.

I promise I will be back later tonight to blog about my busy weekend and other craziness, but right now it's time to hit up the gym for Power Hour which will hopefully burn off all the Mike's Cranberry Lemonades I had this weekend. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? It would take a week of Power Hours to burn those puppies to the gym anyways!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

So What Wednesday

This week I'm saying "So what" if:

  • I am getting more and more anxious about my job situation as the days go by. I know what is "meant to happen" will happen and I will end up where I should be, but knowing I've reached the half-way point of the summer without a job offer makes me sick to my stomach...
  • So I avoid thinking about teaching in any way, shape, or form...if I don't let myself think about it, it doesn't exist...right?...RiGhT?????
  • I really want that job I interviewed for last Wednesday... like really, really, really want that job, but since it's been a week, and I don't feel like I rocked that interview the way I could have...I'm not holding out much hope.
  • Oh, who am I kidding? I'm desperatly clinging to any morsel of hope I can possibly cling to.
  • This entire post is about my job situation... clearly as much as I try to avoid it, the thoughts of it fester in the back of my mind and slowly drive my crazy.
  • I'm going to shamelessly ask for you to click this link and vote for me, I'm number 7 :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Do you love me???

How much do you love me?

If you love me, then I would REALLY appreciate you hitting up this link and voting for me on For The Love of Blog's Best Random Blog Award.

I am number 7 on the link, and all you have to do is click the "like" box under my blog name (My Show for those of you are a little slow on the uptake)

You all know that I am random, so this is the perfect award for me. The voting is open until the 29th, so you can vote for me, oh I dunno, like every day until then :)

Thank you!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Blog Help!!!

Okay lovely readers, I need your help! For about 2 months now I have been TRYING to either center my header or stretch it out so it takes up the entire width of the page. Nothing I do seems to be working. This morning I linked up with a critique hop in which the only negative feedback I got was about my header!!!!! So please, if you are one of those tech-y amazingness people or a super blogger, hit me up with some advise. I took forever desigining that beauty and I loves the pictures in it, but I don't want the fact that it's to the left to distract from my blog.

Thanks! Love you all!!!!

p.s. welcome to all the new followers who have come aboard the last couple of weeks. I have loved all your comments and have enjoyed checking out your blogs too!

Brad Paisley Concert

Last night Drew and I (and 49,998 other Mainer's and New Englanders) went to the Seacoast Country Music Festival with Jarrod Neiman, Blake Sheldon, and... Brad Paisley. Now, Maine is awesome and all, but we don't get a lot of big name concerts in these parts, and to have 3 big names performing less than 20 minutes from my house? It was absolute amazingness.

Awesome music

There were some classy chicks

We had great seats

Drew bought me this sweet shirt

Love him!

We got to hear our song sung live:

If you listen carefully you can hear our friend asking us if we like the song... I'm thinking not so much :)

There was a collection of beverages

Sometimes we really do like each other!

It was an awesome concert, great music and a pretty cool guy by my side to share it.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

A little bit of this...

...a little bit of that

You've been forewarned, this post will be random. I have all these little things to mention that just aren't substantial enough for an entire blog post, but still warrent mentioning.

  • G-Man Friday, after starting to slide off a float in the deep end of the pool (remember, he's 5 and working on learning to swim) he caught himself and said "that was a rookie move"... I almost peed myself laughing
  • Took the kids to get ice cream after lunch Friday. I was so proud when G-Man went and got a napkin and wiped his spilled ice cream off the table... until he licked the napkin. Holy disgustingness!
  • I had an AMAZING day at the pool with the kids, I really love these two and feel so blessed to be with them all summer (though equally blessed to leave at 5 each night and go home to my puppy)
  • My Zumba instructor told me the other night that I look like I've lost a lot of weight. I told her that the scale is refuting that statement, but she said I looked "tighter" (I may have giggled at the use of that word). I didn't think much of it until yesterday at the beach with the kids. I was running and my shorts started sliding down my I guess at least my butt is a little smaller :)
  • I walked into my interview Wednesday to see a woman I know from the gym... and found out she is also my neighbor...small world.
  • On the way to the store the other night, I looked in the backseat to see Zoey sitting in G-man's car seat. Cutest fuh-reaking thing ever... and of course I didn't have my camera.
  • I've had several people comment on my last post about Zoey's food, asking for the recipe. So here it is:
      • Easy Chicken Stew (for dogs!)
    • 2 1/2 pounds whole chicken * they recommend the whole chicken; skin, organs and all however we couldn't find a whole chicken that small so for the first batch we used breasts with the skin on it and didn't cut off any of the fat/veins etc. We are still trying to figure out how to do this one because (supposedly) the organs are amazingly good for dogs. Leave the bones in while cooking
    • 1/4 cup chopped fresh garlic
    • 1 cup green peas
    • 1 cup chopped carrots
    • 1/2 cup chopped sweet potato
    • 1/2 cup chopped zucchini
    • 1/2 cup chopped yellow squash
    • 1/2 cup chopped green beans
    • 1/2 cup chopped celery
    • 1 tablespoon kelp powder (we couldn't find this at the grocery store, so our first batch didn't have it, but we plan to go to a specialty store for the next batch)
    • 1 tablespoon dried rosemary
    • enough water to cover the ingredients in the crock pot
So we took all those ingredients, simmered for about 3 hours (until the sweet potatoes are soft). Then we let it cool, blended it and put it in canning jars. Zoey eats about a cup of it a day, and she likes it better when it's warm, so we toss it in the microwave for about 30 seconds before serving. Depending on the size of your dog, you will have to feed different amounts. The recipe recommends 1 cup for dogs under 10 pounds and add a cup for every 10 pounds of body weight. So if your dog is 40 pounds, you would feed it about 4 cups a day.

That's it! If any of my readers try this out, let me know! I would love to hear about other people's experience with it.

Oh, one last thing... the first couple of days the garlic smell is rather strong, but Zoey got used to it quickly and even so, garlic-breath was much more attractive than dog-food breath, just saying.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Trying Something New

If you've been around my blog, oh at least 3.2 seconds, then you're mildly aware of Zoey and her impact on my life. You are probably equally aware of my love and devotion to my four-legged baby.

With that in mind, it's probably not surprising to you that we are embarking on an adventure to make our own dog food. Yes, I know it sounds extreme, and I myself was a little skeptical at first, but hear me out.

A couple of weeks ago Drew came home from work talking about a coworker who makes her own dog food. We scoffed at it a bit, thought it would be too much work for too little benefit and let it go... but then we started thinking. Last week Drew came home with this book, which he borrowed from said coworker:

I figured I would skim through it, pick up a few ideas and supplement Zoey's food if it made sense. I left it on the counter for a few days, but on Saturday I needed a new book to read while sitting on the ladder. Sidenote: in order to paint one part of our house, we had to use a really tall ladder which made us both very nervous. So while Drew climbed the ladder to paint, I sat on it to "hold it down"... and I read some books. Really, it's a tough life I live :) Back to my story: 

As I was sitting on the ladder, I read the first chapter of the book... and was blown away by what i was reading. The things they put in commercial dog food is sicking. The way it only keeps our dogs alive, rather than actually nourishing them is depressing. I felt sick, I felt like I have been letting my poor dog down these last two years as I fed her this food that the vet assured us was "the best". I went inside, read all the labels on her food... and realized that this book was right. While her food would keep her alive, it was the equivalent of human's subsiding on potato chips and soda... it's physically possible, but it wont let you be at your best.

I want Zoey to be around for as long as possible. She is, in every sense of the word, my baby. If taking a little time to make her food improves her overall health and longevity, then I'm all for it.

So Monday night, Drew and I decided to embark on this journey.

We chopped up all the ingredients:

Threw them in the crock pot and let them simmer:

Sliced open my thumb while washing the knife:
It bled like nobody's business!

Once we were done, we headed to Walmart to get some jars because we realized we didn't have any containers to put the food in once it was done. After about 2 1/2 hours of simmering in the crockpot, we turned it off and let it cool a bit.

Then came the fun part.

We blended

And jarred the food.

It kinda looks like baby food. Drew tried a little and said it was actually pretty good... the thought of trying it skived me out which is weird since it's just chicken, veggies, and a few herbs, but it just couldn't do it.
Zo could smell it cooking, but couldn't find where it was coming from

Zoey tried a sample, and absolutely gobbled it down. Tuesday night though, when we fed it to her for dinner, she didn't finish all of it. I'm hoping that it was just because we fed her early. Wednesday and Thursday she ate all of it, so it's looking good. Thank goodness, cause I'm going to sad if we put in all that work and she ends up not liking it. 


More please Mama?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So What Wednesday

This week I'm saying so what if:

  • I made my dog's food the other night (full-details post to come on that adventure). I want her to be healthy and live as long as possible. If that means I cook for her when I don't even cook for myself, I'm okay with that.
  • I haven't gone to the gym the past two day because it's too hot out...and cause I don't want to wear my glasses there. 
  • I'm wearing one of Drew's contacts today (it's new one!) because my new contacts haven't come yet and I didn't want to wear my glasses to an interview, and no, we clearly (or rather unclearly) do not have the same prescription. 
  • I'm blogging to avoid thinking about my interview in two hours... sure I should be prepping and getting ready, but doing this keeps those killer,carnivorous butterflies from eating apart my stomach lining

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why I shouldn't Procrastinate!

This is why:

Yes, I'm wearing glasses. No, I don't like it.

Not that there is anything wrong with wearing glasses, they just don't work for me. I have been a contact girl since my first pair sophomore year in high school. Why, you ask, am I currently wearing glasses then? Oh, well that would be because I. am. a. freaking. idiot. Yet again my intense procrastination has reared its ugly head to bite me in the butt.

I needed to buy contacts... like 6 months ago. And I knew it. 6 months ago I got my butt in gear enough to go to the eye doctor and get a new prescription, but I just didn't want to spend the money right then to buy contacts, so I figured I would just use the last of my current stash (at $60 a box I wasn't letting a single lens go to waste). 

At the time I had like three pairs left, which can get me through awhile. They're supposed to be replaced every 2 weeks but the last time I bought contacts I made a year supply last 2 1/2 years so I knew 3 pairs could last me awhile. 

Yeah, except I didn't pay attention as I threw out the first pair... and then ripped the second pair... and then suddenly realized that I had one pair left. Sigh. So I popped them in my eyes and vowed to order some that day. Four days later I finally ordered them. Well, as luck would have it, I ripped my last pair on Saturday...and the new contacts still aren't here. 

So, to make a long story short: I'm an idiot, I procrastinated, I am paying for it by wearing these piece glasses for going on my 4th day (UPS man better get his butt to my house today while I'm at work!). Not only do they look super hot, but they are an old prescription and small frames, which means I pretty much can't see for crap. Oh, and workouts with these puppies? Not fun. 

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday Moo

Today I am linking up with For the Love of Blog's Monday Moo. It's something different, so I thought I would give it a try and answer their questions. 

1.) Have you ever posted something and then deleted.
Haha, yup! Well, I don't think I've deleted a whole post, but I have gone back and edited something because I thought it might offend/upset someone. As honest as I like to be on my blog, I do have to censor myself some or I would piss off a lot of people who know me in real life.

2.) Do you know what you want to post about before you sit down or do you sit there and take forever sometimes.

It depends. Often I only sit down to blog when I already have an idea or topic I want to write about. Other times I am joining link ups. If I have to actually sit there and ponder what I'm going to post, then I don't bother to post that day. I figure if I force myself to write, then it's going to be crap and therefore pointless.

3.) What, if any topics are off limits. Do you engage in convo with your readers throughout the post and/or in comments.

Obviously anything crude or sexual I avoid, just because there are people who I know in real life who read this... and that would be awkward. Unfortunately there are things going on in my personal life that I desperately want to write about, because it would be cathartic, but again there are those pesky real-life people reading this, so those topics are off limits just because I don't want them reading it. The funny part, is that I have no qualms about complete strangers reading intimate details, I guess it's because if they judge me I either won't know about it, or won't care cause they are strangers.

I somewhat engage in convo in my readers, as in I write as though I am talking to them. When I get comments that really impact me though, I tend to e-mail the commenter or comment on their blog to continue the conversation.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Puppy Beach Adventures

Last night we took Zo Muffin to the beach. Now, the pup has been to the beach before (hello we live less than 15 minutes from the beach, of course she's been!) but this was her first visit this summer:

In the car on the way to the beach

Exploring the wet sand

Sitting next to Daddy

Making Daddy get the ball, cause this pup isn't going near those waves! 
Letting the wind blow her hair

Watching her ball

Making a new friend!

Watching the waves

Guarding the ball

Posing with Mama

Getting a drink in the parking lot
She wasn't sure what to think of the ocean, perhaps it was a little loud and unpredictable for her, but she did love the sand and all the other dogs.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Saturday Morning Scene- War Wounds Edition

Saturday Morning Scene
I'm linking up with Katie to share what my life looks like this morning.

This morning has been rather rough on my body:

 So my first couple of wounds were attained via a giant bouncy slide. I took Miss Mo and G-man to The Bounce Zone yesterday which is this sweet indoor inflatable playground. Now, I'll admit, the signs did say the inflatables for for kids 2-12... and I may be twice the age of the maximum... but who could resist? Especially when there is no one else there and no one watching. I rocked out the bouncy cources. Unfortunatly I have several scrapes and bumps from it... totally worth it!

Then I've got this bruise. It was gained Tuesday when I took G-man and Miss Mo to my in-laws pool. G-man was a little scared when I made him swim on his own... so he kicked me (he claims by accident). Crazy how strong a freaking out 5-year old is.

I've also got myself yet another sunburn. Yes, this picture is from my last burn. My new burn is on my belly, and while I felt confident enough to wear a bikini for the first time in two years (yay for the gym! But that does explain why I burnt. That virgin skin hasn't been exposed to sunlight in 730-ish days) but I am not confident enough to bare my midrif all over the internet. Just know that I've got some hardcore pink belly going down and that my bra digs into it all day... uber painful!

Finally, I've got a few wounds that just wont show up in pictures. I've got a scratch on my thigh from Miss Mo's dog Daisy. Daisy Duke (no joke, her "full" name) gets really excited to see me in the morning, and the other day she got me just right and tore through some skin. Then i've got numerous bug bites due to the fact that I live in Maine. Though we may not have huge bugs or lethal insects, we are the headquarters of mosquitoes and black flies... and there is no avoiding their mouths.

My poor body has been through a lot this week, but most of my wounds were totally worth it, and if nothing else, they gave me something different to post about this morning. Unfortuantly, Drew has no pity for my pain, and is demanding that I head outside to help him paint the house (boo), so off I go for another day of torture house work.

Monday, July 4, 2011

My 4th of July

Happy 4th of July! 

First off, check out my sweet patriotic nails. Miss Mo and I did our nails on Friday afternoon and I decided to kick it up red, while, and blue style.  
Drew and I worked on painting the house today:
This is our ghetto ladder system
This is what we managed to get done between thundershowers

Lastly, please take a second to marvel at what I did today:

That's right folks, I drove the Hubby's truck, with the boat attached. Granted it was only to back it into the driveway, but please understand that this truck is a 2-ton diesel which requires me to climb up the side rails and then use the steering wheel to haul myself into. No joke, while standing on the ground, the driver's seat is at about shoulder level. I also managed to maneuver the 22-foot boat into a parking spot so I wont accidently back into it while pulling out of the garage tomorrow morning.

Not to shabby Amanda, not to shabby at all :)

I hope you are all having a fantastic fourth! 

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Saturday Morning Scene

I'm linking up this morning with Katie

 Drew is hard at work mowing the lawn. 
Zoey is hard at work napping.

I'm hard at working drinking my DD iced tea and watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding while I should be cleaning or doing anything mildly productive.

Life as usual in our household :) 
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