Saturday, December 31, 2011

12 Weeks


How far along: 12 weeks

How big is baby?: The size of a large plum this week.

Total weight gain: At my appointment Thursday my Dr. said I had gained about 1 1/2 pounds. She said at this point I should have gained 3-5, so I'm a little behind but that my weeks of being really sick all the time probably slowed my gain. This is the first time EVER that I've been told I hadn't gained enough weight... it's a really weird feeling after spending the last 15 years of my life being told I weigh too much and constantly working to lose some weight.

Maternity clothes: No, but I was on vacation this week, which means a lot of sweatpants, "fat jeans" and other loose, comfortable clothing... I'm dreading Tuesday morning when I have to put back on my dress pants... it could get ugly.

Best moment of the week: Hearing my baby's heartbeat again. It's nice and strong :) Dr. told me everything looks perfect and the alien is measuring just right for where I'm at. It felt amazing because even though I have all these symptoms, it doesn't really feel like there is a baby in there... being reassured just felt really nice.

Food cravings: I love milk :) Lots of milk. Not sure why, I've always liked milk but lately I just want it with everything and it tastes soooo good. Earlier this week I really wanted a hamburger which I hope means my aversion to meat is ending. I also love water all the time. I always feel thirsty and water is just the most amazing thing ever! 

Food aversions:  Nothing really... Drew cooked onions the other day and it smelled really gross, but I don't really like onions usually anyways. 

Symptoms: A little nausea, the usual tiredness. Being on vacation meant that when I was tired I took a nice little nap. A couple of times I got this sharp, shooting pain in my cervix which kind of freaked me out a bit, but my doctor said that it was normal and that as long as the pain went away after a little and there was no bleeding than I am fine. It's good to know... but it still really freaked me out. Weirdest feeling I've ever had. 

Movement: We're weeks away from that! (but getting closer every week!!!!!)

Gender: We find out March 1st!!!! It's so close, yet so far away...

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat again on February 1st and then finding our what we're having just a month later! 

What I miss: Nothing really this week. It's been a good week and I've felt pretty good. Probably because I've been able to sleep in and nap whenever I get tired. 

Next appointment: February 1st

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Paranoid Much?

Why yes, I am extremely paranoid. 

About ... well, everything.

That little creaking noise that was probably just the house settling. In my mind it's a crazy ax murderer who is intent on my slow and painful demise... why does he seek out me in particular? No idea, but I'm sure he does.

The door whose deadbolt is unlocked. It couldn't be because Drew or I left it unlocked, oh no, someone must have broken in. Never mind the fact that the knob part of the door is still locked.

I'm constantly paranoid that the house is going to catch on fire while we're not home and poor Zoey will be trapped or that she will get sick, or Drew will get sick. Or I will get sick. A kid I graduated high school with just died on Monday after less than a year battling cancer... he was 26, that's started my death paranoia up all over again.

My worst paranoia right now? This baby. I'm so afraid that I'm going to do something wrong or things are just going to go wrong for no reason. I know in my mind that if something is going to happen, there is nothing I can do to prevent it... but my gut still worries. So much so that I actually dread my OB appointments. I'm convinced before each one that I'm going to go in and they won't be able to find a heartbeat or they're going to tell me that I was never actually pregnant in the first place. I get myself all upset about it. This morning I wanted to cry before my 11 week appointment, because I was so sure thing weren't going to be okay... and then I heard that little heartbeat. That little sound (that actually sounded to me like a dog panting) made me feel a million times better.

As reassuring as that was, I know that when I go to my 16 week appointment, I will get myself all worried, all over again... it's just part of who I am. I worry, I stress, and I drive myself (and Drew) crazy... but I can't help it. My mind knows that it's irrational, but I can't stop all the what if's and worse case scenarios from popping into my head. 

Oh how I envy the people who can just go with the flow.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

11 Weeks


How far along: 11 weeks

How big is baby?: The size of a lime this week.
Total weight gain: I think I gained a pound this week. It's hard to tell because my weight fluctuates so much throughout the day (no joke I can weigh 5 pounds more at night than I did in the morning and then the next morning be down to my pre-pregnancy weight again... so weird) but it seems like I keep going back to 1 pound heavier than I was before.
Maternity clothes: Nopes, In fact I think I'm over that first bloat phase because all week my dress pants, which haven't fit for about 3 weeks, suddenly can zip and button- a major accomplishment. I still feel like my belly is bigger, but it's been really nice being able to wear my clothes again without modifying.
Best moment of the week: Starting to feel better, it felt like my morning sickness was never going to end, but now (knock on wood) it seems to be subsiding-I wrote this too early. I wrote this on Friday, but Saturday I felt awful again ::sigh::

Food cravings: The usual: carbs, mac and cheese... you know, all that unhealthy crap that the alien doesn't really need but that makes me feel oh-so-good :)

Food aversions: Still not loving meat. Chicken still sounds really gross to me. Some food smells will just really make me feel sick, but I'm not hating food as much as I was.

Symptoms: TIRED! All day every day. I sleep a lot more than I used to, but it just never feels like enough. I've also had some cervix pain which my research shows is probably due to overdoing it. Makes sense because the days I've had it our days that were really crazy and I was on my feet all day. I still have a little nausea, but it's no where near the level it was before. My only other symptom right now is that my stomach just hurts sometimes. It's not nausea and it's not when I'm hungry... it's kind of like when you have the flu and it just aches and feels crappy.
Movement: We're weeks away from that!

Gender: Can't know for awhile, but we're definitely going to find out.

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat at the next appointment and entering the 2nd trimester.I'm already feeling so much better, hopefully as I get closer to 13 weeks I will feel even better.

What I miss: Being able to skip meals... I know that sounds weird, but sometimes I just don't feel like eating. In the past I would just wait and eat later, when I felt like it. If I go more than 2 hours without eating these days I start to feel really sick and nauseous

Next appointment: December 29th, Merry Christmas to me :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's Ok Thursday

It's been a long time since I've linked up with Neely for

Its Ok Thursdays

This week I'm saying "It's Ok"

  • That I let my students eat a boat-load of sugar and candy at the very end of the day yesterday... hey, I wasn't going to deal with that sugar rush
  • To every so often use the excuse "I'm busy growing a human being here" as a reason for why my house is a mess and I'm always exhausted... it actually is a viable excuse
  • To be pissed at the now two friends who have "stolen" my baby names in the past 2 months... guess I can't name my kid that now
  • To be sooo excited that today is Thursday. Which means my last day of work this week. Which means 11 days of vacation!!!!!!
  • To still not be in the Christmas spirit. I'm psyched about vacation... not really interested in the whole holiday situation that it's connected to.
  • That I got overly annoyed with a 3rd grader Tuesday who wouldn't stop crying after a 3-ounce plastic bit grazed her shoulder. I really wanted to push her so she would at least have a reason to be crying
  • To be really sad about the fact that my readership peaked in June and has since fallen... and to be even more upset that I don't know why, so I can't fix it!!!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

We got kicked out of school today...

About 45 minutes before the end of school today, our principal got on the intercom and announced that we were going to be having an early dismissal. I assumed, naturally, that it was due to the freezing rain we had been having all day. It was nasty out this morning and I figured they wanted to get the kids home before it started getting cold out.

Then 10 minutes later they told us that bus groups were going to move to either the cafeteria or gym and that all teachers needed to pack up their belongings and go to the cafeteria... weird.

Even weirder? After about half the kids were dismissed, our principal told us that all the teachers could leave, but that we couldn't return to our classrooms... they didn't want us going out through the East wing either (my wing)


It bothered me that they weren't even telling us what was going on. Luckily a few friends knew what was going on and they informed me that there was smoke in one of the classrooms on my wing and that they couldn't find the source. Great would have been nice to know that I was inhaling God-knows-what for the last 20 minutes of my day... that's GOT to be good for the alien.

If you've been reading, you know what a piece my school is (a quick recap: mold, asbestos, dangerous CO2 levels, rodents, insect infestations, uninsulated walls/ceilings... I could go on and on) so it's not really surprising to have such evacuations. What is surprising is that they didn't even explain what was going on.

On the bright side... maybe we won't have school tomorrow... Extra vacation day?!?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

10 Weeks


How far along: 10 weeks

How big is baby?: The size of a prune this week, about 1.5 inches.
Total weight gain: no gain so far, I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight but my body just looks different.
Maternity clothes: Nopes, but I am wearing my BeBand I bought the other day. It's this cool band that goes over my unbutton pants to help hold them up and I am loving it! It is so much more comfortable than an elastic band and/or safety pin.

Best moment of the week: Not throwing up at work at all :)

Food cravings: Chicken nuggets! And I love McD's sweet and sour sauce which is funny because I have NEVER liked it before. I also love mac and cheese... yup, I'm all for the carbs these days which could be why nothing fits.

Food aversions: Chicken, unless of course it's in nugget form, then it's fantastic. Depending on the night nothing sounds good. By dinner time I'm usually sick of food in general and just don't want to eat.

Symptoms: Still a lot of nausea, and a little puking. My waist is a little bigger, I now can't button any of my pre-pregnancy pants in my normal size. I still have my "fat pants" from 2 years ago before I lost a bunch of weight, but it's depressing to have to pull them back out.

I'm still exhausted all the time. I could sleep all day every day. Also now my abs feel... tight. Like really tight. If I poke my belly it's soft and squishy, but if I poke my abs right between my hip bones its hard and tender, so weird to think about that being our little baby!  
Movement: We're weeks away from that!

Gender: Can't know for awhile, but we're definitely going to find out.

What I'm looking forward to: The end of the first trimester in two weeks so I can (hopefully) stop feeling so sick all the time.

What I miss: I still miss feeling like myself and feeling healthy. I know the nausea is "normal" but it makes me feel like something is wrong. I also miss being able to button my pants... yeah, that's a little depressing.

Next appointment: December 29th, Merry Christmas to me :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

How We Told

**I realized the other day that I'd written this post awhile ago, but just never published it! **

As you may have noticed, I like to talk about myself. Thus the blog :) Somehow I managed to keep the news of my pregnancy off the web for the first 4 weeks of knowing, but damn it was hard! I just wanted to share with all my bloggy friends and shout about how excited I am. At the same time though I had that paranoia about something going wrong and having to tell people about it after I had just gotten them excited.

We made the decision to keep pretty quiet about it,  but we couldn't not tell our familes. We are very close with Drew's family. We see them all the time, and I didn't like feeling like I was lying to them. We decided to tell them on Sunday, November 13th. Both Drew's mom and my mom have been harrassing us to let them know what we want for Christmas this year, so I printed off a picture of a crib for Drew's mom and a stroller for my mom.

When we got to thier houses (seperatly on the same day) I told them that we knew what we wanted for Christmas and handed them the pictures. Drew's mom was so cute. She was all "what? really? are you... pregnant?". I was all: no, I just thought our house should have one for decorative purposes. Anyways, she was SOOO excited and couldn't stop beaming and saying "this is so exciting".

When I gave it to my mom she laughed and said congrats. It was funny because earlier that same day my cousin had told the family that she was pregnant too. The other funny part was that my uncle had gone to see a psychic to help him deal with the passing of my grandfather (my uncle and grandfather were very close). The psychic had apparently told him that someone in our family was going to be pregnant. So weird that he heard that just a few days before we told people. (Also, we didn't know this at the time, but my cousin and I now have the same due date... how weird is that?)

Even stranger, is the fact that the week we concieved my mom had this dream. She doesn't usually remember her dreams, so the fact she remembered it was weird, but in the dream Drew and I were in thier kitchen as she was coming downstairs Drew was trying to get me to drink orange juice but I refused and said I didn't want everyone to know I was pregnant. Between the dream and the psychic, my mom wasn't very surprised, but she seemed very excited.

It was so fun being able to tell people and feeling like it was more real. It just made me even more excited.

I asked for this!

Back around week 5 of my pregnancy I was a little frustrated by the fact that I didn't "feel" anything. No symptoms no feelings... just... nothing. And it made me worry. It made me wonder what was going on in there. Was my baby ok? Was there even really a baby? Had all six pregnancy tests really just been false positives?

Ok, I'm neurotic. Duely noted. So I wished for symptoms, kind of almost prayed for them.

What the hell was I thinking?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I should consider sleeping in

So this weird thing happened this morning. Drew and I decided to "sleep in". Okay, by sleep in I mean we got up at 6 am rather than 5:40 am (woooo, 20 minutes, whatev, it was nice)

Anyways, this extra 20 minutes of sleep plus walking the dog managed to make me get to work 45 minutes later than usual

...I was still the first one there

I think that was my sign, I go to work too early. I should consider sleeping in even more.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I guess that would make me The Grinch

I'm so not in the Christmas mood, and it makes me a little sad.

Usually, I'm like a little kid with Christmas. I start counting down the days the day after Thanksgiving. I start planning and decorating. I love Christmas shopping and the excitement of finding the perfect gift.

This year? I couldn't care less.

Okay, that's an exageration. I'm just...apathetic to the holiday. We got our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, as usual, and even got him up in the house:

Meet Winston. Yes, I name my trees.
I even named the tree per my usual holiday exuberence... but that's where it ended. I realized the other day how close Christmas is... and it didn't excite me. Saturday Drew and I acknowledged that we hadn't done any of our Christmas shopping yet... it didn't bother me.

Bah humbug...

I want to be excited. I want to decorate, and shop and plan... but it's just not happening. I did, however, manage to do 80% of our Christmas shopping online the other night, so many of the gifts are taken care of, but between the fatigue, achiness and general moodiness that people say is to be expected of the first trimester, I'm just rather blah.

This is me

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Who says that?... to someone they hardly know???

At the gym this morning, this woman I barely know, said to me:

"Well someone is looking a little busty... did you get your boobs done?"


9 Weeks

I've felt a LOT better this week, but it's still been tough. I keep waiting for the point where I can just enjoy being pregnant rather than focusing on being sick all the time.

How far along: 9 weeks

How big is baby?: Depends on what you go by, all my apps/books keep telling me different things. About the size of a date this week... still a tiny little fishy.

Total weight gain: no gain so far, but since I haven't been throwing up as much this week, I am back to my pre-preggers weight.

Maternity clothes: Nopes, but I am pulling the elastic band trick on all my pants. They can all still button, but it is so uncomfortably tight that I just leave them unbuttoned and either wear a belt or tie an elastic around. I think I need to go buy a BeBand, it would probably be a lot more comfortable and make it so I'm not constantly pulling down on my shirt.

Best moment of the week: Going three whole days without upchucking. I credit that to my Sea Bands that I bought last weekend. While they don't make the nausea go away, they take the edge off. Even better? My students think they look really cool. Don't be surprised if you start seeing 5th graders sporting sweat bands on their wrists, yep, I'm starting that trend.

Food cravings: I HAD to have ice cream the other day. Then yesterday I really, really wanted Papa Gino's pizza which is random because I haven't had it in years. Unfortunately the only Papa Gino's in Maine is about 45 minutes to an hour away from here. Luckily, it's in the town my grandmother lives in, and my mom just happened to be spending the night there last night. So, for lunch today, I get my Papa Gino's :)

Food aversions: Nothing really this week. Sometimes I just didn't want to eat, but there was no food that really freaked me out this week.

Symptoms: A lot of nausea, a little puking. My boobs look and feel huge (sorry if that's TMI, but get used to it!) My waist is a little bigger too, making my clothes feel a little tight. I'm still ex-hausted all the time. I could sleep all day every day. During my prep period the other day, I crawled under my desk and took a 20-minute nap... don't judge!

Movement: We're weeks away from that!

Gender: Can't know for awhile, but we're definitely going to find out.

What I'm looking forward to: The end of the first trimester in three weeks so I can (hopefully) stop feeling so sick all the time. I also can't wait until the 29th when I have my next appointment/ultrasound. I want to see my little alien again!

What I miss: Feeling like myself and feeling healthy. I know the nausea is "normal" but it makes me feel like something is wrong.

Next appointment: December 29th, Merry Christmas to me :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

Our Day Off

Zoey and I like to cuddle on the couch, the other day when I got up for a few minutes, I came back and couldn't figure out where my do was. Until I saw this:

She may be a tad bit spoiled. I love her :)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

5 Weeks Through 8 Weeks

I've decided to post the first couple of weeks as one post since I won't be posting it until after my ultrasound during week 7. Don't worry, my blog is not just going to be a pregnancy blog now, I still have plenty of other things to say :) but be advised that it will be featured since it's kinda a big part of my life right about now.

Clearly Drew needs some photography lessons, and I know that these pix don't show any change yet, but I want to be able to have pictures from each week of pregnancy. Oh, and can you tell that week 6 was when I started puking my guts out?


How far along: 5-8 weeks...I think. If I'm counting right...I probably should be responsible for teaching kids math.

How big is baby: Week 5: the size of an orange seed. It's an itsy-bitsy little speck, week 8 it's grown to the size of a grape. It doesn't seem like much, but that's a lot in a few short week. Especially since during that time all the major organs and systems have also been developing.

Total weight gain: None yet, but some bloating that make my pants tight... oh joy. I start off fine in the morning, but by the time I get home at night it looks like I tried to squeeze into pants that are too sizes too small and uncomfortably tight. I'm enjoying sweat pants and the old elastic band around the button of my jeans to make things more comfortable. This last week I actually lost 1 1/2 pounds... probably because very little of my food actually stays down.

Maternity clothes: Hopefully not for awhile

Best moment of the week(S):  The moment was when the test came back positive. I cried. Then there was being able to tell our familes, I'll explain that in another post. Week 7 the most amazing moment was seeing our little alien at our first ultrasound. It made it so real, and so amazing. We even saw the alien's little heartbeat on the screen.

Food cravings:  Not so much cravings, but I'm loving spicy foods and I'm always thirsty no matter how much water I drink during the day. There are also just foods that sound really good at the time, but nothing too intense. Basically I crave anything that wont make me sick... I just wish I knew what that was. Lots of saltines and Sprite.

Food aversions: Just about everything. Eggs. The smell alone sends me dashing to the nearest bathroom. Also chocolate... it's too sweet and the thought of it just makes me feel icky, as a choco-holic, I find that upsetting. (update, by week 7 I'm back to loving chocolate) There are also just a lot times in which certain foods or food in general just sounds gross, so I don't eat, but that bites me in the butt because not eating makes me super sick.  

Symptoms:  I feel like a human nose. I smell everything. That coffee Drew made this morning? Gag-inducing. The woman at our staff meeting today with all the perfume? Yeah, she had me covering my nose with my sleeve and counting down the minutes. Every smell is so freaking strong. Some I don't mind, but it's crazy how strong it is.

Then there is my bladder. I've always been able to hold it. As a teacher I've trained myself to only have to go during my prep periods...yeah, that's not working anymore. I'm averaging about every hour and half these days. It's so not cool.

I've had a little nausea/stomach pain, but nothing overwhelming and it seems to  come and go. Week 5 I had some cramping, but that has gone away after that week. Now that I'm in week 7, the nausea has hit full force. I've been throwing up several times a day (I know, TMI) and constantly feeling like my stomach is tied up in knots. The worst part is that getting sick doesn't make me feel better. I keep thinking that it will, but it doesn't. I know that if I just eat all the time, I feel a lot better, but food sounds so disgusting that I literally have to force myself to eat. This last week has been misrable, especially throwing up at work... so awkward!

Movement: Not for awhile

Gender: No idea yet (obviously) though given the hubby's family history (he's one of three boys as is his father) it's probably gonna be a boy.

What I’m looking forward to: EVERYTHING!!! I'm loving telling people (and yes, I know it's a little early for that, but I've waited so long for this to happen and I am a horrible secret keeper.

What I miss: Nothing much yet, I am still over the moon to have gotten a postive test. Okay, I guess I do miss being able to walk around without gagging at every scent...that part kinda sucks. And I really miss not having to think about food all the time. Right now if I don't eat I get sick, and if I eat, I get sick... can't win.

Next appt: December 29th... We're having another ultrasound done. It will be so cool to see how much our little alien grows in month.

Friday, December 2, 2011

From the beginning

Were you surprised by today's earlier post?

I have been dying to blog about this for the 4 weeks that we have known, but obviously needed to wait until I told close friends and family first. Thus my lack of posting over the last couple of weeks. Thank you so much to my loyal readers who have stuck by me through my disappearance. I am so excited, and happy, and just waiting to share this with as many people as possible (hello, that IS the whole reason I have a blog!)

There is a LOT that went into this pregnancy, and it hasn't been all sunshine and daisies in my world as of late. I wanted to include the background to my pregnancy story because I know a lot of women struggle with the heartbreak of infertility and feeling like your body has betrayed you. I know my journey doesn't even compare to what other women have had to go through, and for that I truly thank God. Anyways, here is my story, most of it was written as it happened, the rest I have added in after to complete the details:

All I've ever wanted was to be a mom. I know it sounds cliche... but when I've envisioned my future it's always been as a mom who teaches. That was my (future) identity. I've always wanted kids, several of them, and lately have felt an incompleteness that only a baby could fill. However, clearly my dreams weren't meshing with reality.

The original plan (okay, my plan, Drew wasn't totally on board at this point, but he didn't try to stop me which in our world means he kinda supports it) was that we were going to start TTC in June 2011 with the expectation of having a baby in April or May 2012. That plan would allow me to stay home for maternity leave and into the summer vacation so that our baby wouldn't have to go to daycare or a babysitter for the first 5-6 months of his/her life. I'm a planner, I like to hash out the details because it helps me not feel anxious about things.

In order to fufill those plans, I went off the pill in January of 2011 with the idea that I would give my body 6 months to get the hormones out of my system and regulate my period which would make conceiving more accurate.

{April-June}You know what they say; we plan and God laughs... well God must have been rolling on the floor laughing at me all spring. First, I didn't get a period until April. Then in May I lost my job... then I didn't get another period at all. In June I went to the doctor who ran a bunch of tests (and ran up a sweet bill) and I was basically told at that point that I would probably ever be able to get preggers on my own. Awesome (there needs to be a font for sarcasm... I would totally overuse it). Needless to say I was devatated. I had all these plans and hopes and dreams... that had just been crushed.

{September}In September I finally decided that I should go back to the doctor since I still hadn't had a period. Enter tons more tests (and that awesome bruise I shared) and some meds that made me sick to my stomach. By this point I had a new job, things were steady... and Drew actually wasn't opposed to the idea of having a baby (keep in mind that he is a man who does not "do" feelings and baby-talk was too "feeling"-filled for his tastes. So while he only once told me that he wanted a baby, and he will deny that comment until the day he dies, I just felt like it was supposed to be our time...only my damn body wasn't working)

10/12/11 Had a medically-induced period that was Cuh-razy, and then headed back to the Doctors for a pelvic ultrasound (awk-ward!). They looked at my ovaries and my blood work. Blood work was normal, ovaries riddled with cycts. There were so many that it looked like one giant black blog on the ultrasound. Dispite that, my doctor said we could be ready to try some infertility treatments. She prescribed me Clomid, which is supposed to help the folicles on my ovaries develop and ovulate. My doctor prescribed the meds, but told me not to get my hopes up. She said that the meds would not be successful the first round, but that it would help them see how my body responded so they could adjust future meds. We struggled a little with doing this now, as all my treatments so have had been expensive as infertility treatment is not covered by health insurance (which I think is BS, my body was not working correctly, how is that not a medical issue? Regardless of it I was trying to concieve, I would still want my body to work the way it was supposed to and not having a period for 9 months, when not pregnant, is NOT normal), anyways, this stuff had been expensive. All the tests, blood work, and doctors appointments. We hesitated about doing the first round, as we couldn't be sure how much more we could afford. In the end, we agreed to give it a try. I swear, I have never loved my husband more then when he looked at me and said to do it. (That's a lie, I fell in love with him all over again when those two little pink lines showed up on the pregnancy test)
10/22/11- so I'm done with the Clomid... and just waiting to see what happens. Have I mentioned that I'm not a patient person? Cause I'm not. Every twinge, cramp, or blah feeling and I'm convinced  that a. I'm pregnant or b. I'm experiencing one of the rare side effects from the meds... in which I die (obviously).

10/27/11- Okay, I know this sounds really crazy, but my boobs hurt today (lol, I can't believe I'm going to post a blog about my boobs, I really have no shame). Of course I know it's way too soon to have any pregnancy symptoms. If I am pregnant, then I'm only like a week pregnant, there is no way I could have symptoms already... but they do hurt...

11/6/11- I couldn't wait any longer. My fertility app says not to test for 4 more days, but I'm impatient. I knew that probably meant that the test was going to be negative, even if I was preggers, but I was getting too impatient. 3 minutes later...I got that little plus sign. I cried. I am so excited, so happy... and so scared.


First comes love...

then comes marriage...

then comes...

details soon, like probably later today because I'm home sick :)
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