Thursday, March 29, 2012

Really? This whole being pregnant leads to actually HAVING a baby? You're kidding!

I know people mean well, but seriously, shut up.

1) I have this friend. She hated being pregnant. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, but she just didn't enjoy it. Once she had her baby though, everything changed. She is enchanted by her child and amazed by what she created... and now keeps telling me how much I'm going to enjoy it "once she gets here". Um, hi, I don't need my baby her to love her already. As much as I may complain about pregnancy symptoms, I actually really love being pregnant. I love the feeling of this life growing inside of me and even if I don't love every aspect of it, I love what my body is capable of and all that it is doing. I have loved this little girl since the moment there were two lines on the test. Scratch that, I've loved her since before we started trying and I had this image in my head of my little baby and how much I would love her. So, sorry that it took the actual birth of your child for you to appreciate her, but I'm already in love with my child

2) I have another friend, who recently had a baby, who has all this advice for me about this baby and how I love her now, but I'm really going to love her once she's here. Again, I love her already, enough said.

3) Another friend (man, do I have a lot of friends who are preggers/had a baby in the last year). asked me whether I still had plans have a natural labor. When I said yes she told me "good luck" and "you'll be begging for an epidural within 20 minutes". This drives me nuts. It's not the first time I've been told that I'm crazy for this. I get that it's not the "norm" these days which is depressing, but that's a whole different post. I get that labor is hard. I hold no illusions that it wont hurt or that it won't be difficult. I'm not crazy. I know i might get in there and completely change my mind... but do people have to be so condescending and negative about it? Why can't they just respect that this is what I want for me and my baby. I know it might not work out, but I'd rather hope for the best case scenario but also go in with my eyes open. Even Drew has doubts that I'll be able to do this naturally. He things that I won't be able to tolerate the pain.

All this doubt from outsides has me doubting myself, and I hate that. This is supposed to be about me and my baby, but I feel like this is taking away from that. Maybe I can't do this naturally... maybe I'm really not strong enough. I hate doubting myself, but with so many people telling me I can't, how am I supposed to believe that I can?

4) This guy I work with keeps telling me I'm too small and I must not be taking good care of my baby if I'm this small. What? I've gained the appropriate amount of weight according to my doctor and as of today she is measuring at exactly where she should be for how pregnant I am. How dare you assume that I am "too small" or in any way compromising the health of my child!

5) On the flip side I have several women at work who keep telling me how big I am and joking that I won't be able to walk soon. These are also the same women who find it socially acceptable to touch my belly without asking permission. Sure, call me fat all you want but then try to love on my baby. Righttttttttttttt


I needed to get this out there. To vent my frustrations at the "experts" who apparently know me, and my baby, better than I do. I get that (most of) these people mean well, but I wish people could just keep their thoughts to themselves. I do have plenty of people in my life who are amazing. The teachers, parents and friends who tell me how fantastic I look. My wonderful husband who cooks dinner most (OK all) nights as I'm passed out on the couch during one of my marathon naps. The coworkers who offer help when I'm having a rough day or tell me how excited they are for me. Those are the moments when I feel really good about myself. Regardless of those around me, I love this little girl, and I wouldn't change anything about my pregnancy or this baby. She's perfect and I'm prepared to do everything I can to keep her safe, healthy and happy. Despite it all, nothing else matters except her.

7 comments:

  1. hang in there!! you know what is best for your baby - not those people that are telling you that you are 'too small' or 'too big' or that you don't love her enough. its obvious you are going to be an amazing mama!

    btw - i love reading your blog!!

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  2. People are awful but unfortunately this is pretty standard for being preggo. Everyone loves to give you their opinion even though they aren't you.

    It's just noise. Every pregnancy is different and your feelings are the only ones that matter. It's admirable you want to give it a go with no meds...I would not be so brave. If it doesn't happen that way, SO WHAT!

    Just enjoy every moment. And ignore people who had bad experiences/know it all's.

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  3. I was told I was small the WHOLE time I was pregnant. It was so annoying.
    I had a healthy 7lbs 6 ounce baby girl.

    Now I am told all the time that SHE is too small.
    But she reaching all of her milestones ahead of time, and is a happy, smiling, small appetite baby munchkin!

    The annoyances never end.

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  4. Oh, I forgot!

    Natural Labour, totally possible, totally amazing, and the best choice EVER.

    I did it, I loved it, and I would love to share my happy labour story with you if you need some inspiration.
    I only had to be at the hospital for 3 hours after birth, thats how quick of a recovery you can make with NO interventions! You are built to have this baby naturally and you can do it.

    But I do have to agree with your friend in #2.
    The amount MORE that you love that baby when it's out is RIDICULOUS. But it truly is something you will not understand until its here. It is the most incredible feeling.

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  5. Don't listen to other people. Many people have been telling Erin similar things and it frustrates her too. (She's about 32 weeks). As long as you're happy that's all that matters! You know how your progress is going and you determine what type of labor you want. From what I hear in the classes we're taking, it's different for everyone so someone elses pain may not necessarily be the same for you. We haven't told anyone the name of ours yet for similar reasons. Good luck with everything!

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  6. It so so frustrating to have people doubt and not believe in you. I am sure it is hard but just try and push those thoughts way. I have friend who had a natural birth and she is so proud of it. I think you can do it but in the end if you end up not that is okay too. Either way the outcome will be a beautiful little baby :)So forget about the negative thoughts and remember the positive ones!

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  7. It's good to know I'm not the only one who had to hear all of those stupid comments from people around me. And about the epidural thing... almost everyone that asked if I wanted to go natural pretty much laughed at me when I said yes. One lady told me, "you say that now but just wait until you're 20 minutes into it. You're going to change your mind without a doubt". Well guess what?! I did it and so can you. The best, most real advice i got was, "it's painful, of course but it's a do-able pain.". Our bodies are designed to do this so you go girl for even wanting to try. :)

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