Tuesday, July 31, 2012

New button and Advertising

New! New! New!

I've got a new button: 

How adorable is Miss Fynn?!?! 

AND, I'm now selling ads. Visit my Contact/Sponsor Me tab up above to see the ad spaces available. If your interested in doing a button swap, use the promo code "tradelove" for the small size ad and I will host your button for a month while you host mine. All ads run for 30 days and include the option of a guest post or giveaway on my blog. If you go for the gold and purchase the Primetime ad spot, you get the giveaway AND guest post options AS WELL as a personal intro and shout out on the blog when your ad starts.

Let me know if you have any questions! 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Zoey's Baby

Zoey wasn't sure what to think when we brought Fynn home from the hospital. In fact, she wasn't sure what to think my entire pregnancy. I'm not sure if I wrote about this before (and I'm too lazy to go check) but Zoey had some issues during my pregnancy. She was VERY clingy, as in would watch my every move, and she reverted back to her puppy days in terms of house breaking. Prepregnancy she would have accidents if she was left home alone for extended periods and would always have said accidents on a pee pad we left in the back hall, but during those 9 months she had an "accident" almost everyday. Those accidents? Were NOT always on the pee pad. She would often have them on the couch, on the carpet, or hidden behind furniture.

Yeah, it was not pretty (and also the primary reason why we bought new furniture in the living room).

So we weren't sure how she would react to Fynn. We didn't think she would be violent or anything, Zo isn't like that, but we didn't know if she would like her.

The first two days, Zoey was just mad... at me. She wouldn't look at me or come near me. Any time I held her she would just look away dispassionately like I was nothing to her. It broke my heart. I cried to Drew several times about how I had lost my baby and how she would never love me again.

A few days later she was warming up a little. She would sit with me and look at the baby and be okay with things. Little by little Zoey has come back to me. She again sleeps curled up next to me, she cuddles, she kisses, and she is pretty much her usual self for me.

But now, she has her baby. That's right Fynn is her baby, not mine... except for if she needs something, then she's all mine (typical big sister!). This dog wants to kiss the baby all day every day. She watches over her, especially anytime I put her down (which I'll admit, isn't that often). One day I put Fynn in her swing so I could run upstairs and switch over the laundry. Fynn made a little squeaky noise in her sleep, and Zoey came booking it up the stairs to get me. She whined and grumbled until I came back downstairs and checked on the baby.

Anytime I put Fynn down, Zoey will sit and watch her, intently, until I return. It is so cute and sweet. She gets very upset when Fynn cries and makes every attempt to help the baby out. When I was driving home the other day, Fynn started crying. Zoey was sitting out front with me when it started, but she quickly jumped to the back seat to check things out and "help". I can't wait until Fynn is old enough to start interacting with Zoey. I know they are going to have so much fun together and that Fynn will forever torture and love that little puppy. 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sunday Social

1. What is your dream job?
I'd like to say it's teaching, in which case I would already have my dream job... but I'm not sure. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do... but I've only been doing it for 4 years now...teaching is one of those professions that are easy to burn out in... so whether it's my dream job or not is yet to be seen.

2. If you had just won the lottery and didn't need to work for money, what would you do with your time?
Stay home with Fynn and Zoey! I would love to do this, but Drew assures me that we can't afford it (boo). We could go on day trips together, explore and just enjoy being together. Since I'm assuming our lottery winnings would be significant, obviously Drew wouldn't work either and we could all be together!

3. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A teacher... I actually used to make the kids in my neighborhood play "school" in the summer and I would (obviously) be the teacher... I'm not sure they really enjoyed that game :)

4. What piece career advice would you give to someone just starting out in your field?

Breathe! Teaching is such a physically and emotionally taxing job. Take a few moments everyday to take a deep breath and gain perspective, otherwise it becomes too overwhelming. The other piece that goes with that is to slow down. Most teachers (myself included) try to do way too much. We have these lofty ideas of what we want our classroom to be and often try to implement too many new things at once or try to make every lesson the most interactive and exciting learning experience for our students. While that's great in theory... it just doesn't work, and it leads to that exhaustion and overwhelmingness I mentioned before. 

5. Biggest Pet Peeves either in life or in blogging or at work
I have a lot of pet peeves while driving actually; people who signal 50 miles before they turn, people who come to a complete stop before turning and people who drive painfully slow. Those things aggravate me way more then they probably should. In blogging it bugs me the people who complain about blog "cliques", sorry, but who cares? If the group wont let you in, blow them off and find your own group. Seriously, this isn't middle school. At work, my biggest pet peeve is parents who fight their kid's battles for them. Sorry, but I don't need an e-mail that Sally didn't invite Susie to her birthday party. If it's not going on in school, not my problem. If Sally has an issue, have her call Susie, or get over it. Then there are the parents who call because their child waited until the night before to start a project and didn't understand the directions. Hello, that's why I gave it to them last week and asked every day since then if they had questions. Again, this is not MY problem. 

6. Biggest Fears
Something happening to the people I love. I have a rather overactive imagination and am paranoid by nature. Which means I see problems that don't actually exist and imagine the worst case scenario for every situation... besides being exhausting for me, it really annoys Drew because of course I tell him about all my irrational fears, especially the ones involving him, Fynn and Zoey. 

Summer Beauty VoxBox

From other bloggers and Twitter friends I discovered Influenster. I'm a sucker for free stuff so I joined up and started earning badges. I was so, so excited when I heard I qualified for the Summer Beauty Voxbox and I was even more excited the day we got back from the hospital with Fynn and my box was here. Now of course all of these products were free samples, but the opinions I've written about here are 100% honest and my real thoughts on the products tried.

Quaker Soft Baked Bar in Banana Nut Bread: Yum! It looked so good that I didn't even get a "before" picture, and it didn't fail to impress. It really tasted like Banana bread. I  wanted to go buy more, but Drew looked at them at the store and they're relatively expensive for what you get. So maybe we'll buy them sometime when they go on sale.

Sally Hansen Nails & Cuticles Hand Cream: This stuff is great. It leaves your hands soft and smooth without being greasy or gross. AND it keeps your hands smooth for a long time. 

Clear Scalp and Hair Therapy Shampoo and Conditioner: I was curious about this stuff because I kept seeing the commercials that made it sound oh-so-amazing. Not gonna lie, it's pretty good. Not sure if it made my hair any healthier, as the little sample bottles were only good for two uses. However, the stuff smells amazing and my hair was very smooth and soft after using, so it seems to have promise. 

Hawaiian Tropic Silk Hydration Sunblock: Funny story about this one. I thought it was just lotion at first because the sunscreen part is written in teeny-tiny print, so I put in on my arms. It mosturizes REALLY well. I don't know how good the sunblock part is, since I'm only out in the sun for about 10 minutes a day (cause of the whole being a hermit thing) but it smells amazing, like summer in a bottle! 

Sally Hansen Magnetic Nail Polish: I actually had to Google this stuff to figure out what was so special about it, because the directions on teh back are super tiny, but it's really cool. You paint your nails once. Then you do a thick second coat and hold the magnet (found in the cap) next to your cuticles. Now, I did my toenails because I didn't want to paint my finger nails right now since my fingers end up in and around the baby's mouth quite often, so I did my toenails instead (yes, I know I have funky toes, and unfortunately poor Fynn inherited my toes... poor baby)  Something in the polish reacts to the magnet and creates these really cool designs on it. Not gonna lie, this stuff was hard... or maybe I'm just stupid. The first foot I did came out like crap and I was all "product fail" but then I decided to try again on the other foot and realized that it was just an Amanda fail that first time around. The secret is that you have to let the first coat dry really well and then use just the right amount on the second coat... it's a learned process. The picture is not amazing (neither is my hack job of nail painting) but you get the picture and it's really pretty cool in person with the waves in it. Next time I want to try moving the magnet around to see if I get some different swirls and waves in it. I also want to try it with a different color as the base coat to see if I can get a cool pattern going. 

Tampax and Always Radiant collection. I love the adorable little pouch this came in. It matches my diaper bag AND it's really cute. I'm not quite sure what's different about the Radiant collection besides the bag since all the products seem the same as they usually are. 

That was my first Voxbox... I can't wait to get more and try out some more free stuff... I love me some free stuff :) 

Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday's Letters


Dear summer,

Slow down! I'm not ready for the new school year to start! Please, please just relax and let me enjoy these last weeks home with my baby.

a new Mama who's not ready to go back into teacher mode

Dear baby Fynn,

One, I am OhSoSorry for cutting your itty-bitty finger yesterday when I was clipping your nails. I feel awful about it, which I'm sure you know because I cried about it more than you did. Two, day=awake, night=sleep, got it? This whole sleeping the day away and then wanting to play all night is seriously not working for me. I can't sleep during the day, which means I don't sleep at all. Please figure out this whole day/night thing, and soon. Before I lose my mind.

Your tired (and very sorry!) Mama

Dear hubby,

Your slamming around Wednesday night when I asked you to change the pee-soaked baby while I changed out of my pee-soaked pj's is exactly the reason why I usually just take care of these things on my own. You say you want to help, but your actions say otherwise. Just go back to sleep, clearly you need it more than I do.

your exhausted baby-Mama who is too tired to deal with two babies. 

Dear self,

Please relearn how to take naps. You were the queen of napping during your pregnancy, why are you refusing to nap when I need it most? Baby sleeps = you sleep... but you won't fall asleep!!!!


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

So What Wednesday

I haven't linked up with Shannon for awhile, but today I'm saying "So What!"

  • If Fynn currently isn't wearing any clothes because her diaper exploded into her pj's and after cleaning her up she fell back asleep. No way in hell am I waking her up just to put clothes on.
  • If she also spit up in my bed last night and I just covered it with a burp cloth and went back to sleep
  • If I'm REALLY annoyed with the dog right now because she is grumbling at the baby... I swear if Fynn wakes up, there's going to be hell to pay for this little puppy.
  • If I'm also REALLY annoyed with the hubby right now. Yeah, claim all you want that you'll wake up to help with the baby, but when it's 3 am and I'm yelling your name and throwing diapers at you... and you're still asleep? Yeah, you're useless to me. 
  • If I really should be sleeping right now, since I only got about 3 hours of interrupted sleep last night and the baby is back to sleep... but I needed to eat something, and now I need to vent my frustrations with life.
  • If there's a part of me that's insanely jealous as Drew walks out the door in the morning, to his job, with real grown ups, and no screaming baby. Don't get me wrong. There's no way in hell you could get me to leave her right now, especially not to go to work... but a part of me is jealous of his freedom.
  • If I have to stop blogging now, because the baby's waking up... again

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Loud baby

I never knew before Fynn just how loud babies are. There's the usual cooing and crying noises that I anticipated... but I was unaware of all the other noises she would make:

  • she snores like her Daddy. I mean it's LOUD, crazy loud for such a little peanut.
  • she squeaks... kinda sounds like a little mouse. Really cute :)
  • she burps like a teenage boy. No joke. Full out belly-belches that blow your mind.
  • she also farts like a teenage boy. Often she rips them and I'm convinced that she's loaded her diaper, only to find out it was only gas. 
  • Then there's the random noises, the "eh eh eh" when she's sound asleep, or the "oooooooo". I think some of the noises freak Zoey out because she  looks at Fynn and grumbles or comes running to get me. 

She also sleeps like her Daddy, with the arms sprawled over her head and impossible to wake up. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Pretty Sure I'm A Hermit

This summer I feel like a major hermit. There are whole days where I don't even step foot outside this house... it's a little pathetic.

Granted, new baby? Total excuse... but it's a little depressing. Many days my only interactions with another human being are with an adorable little creature whose only response is nonsensical grunting, cooing and/or screaming... not exactly thought-provoking. On the other hand... I really don't want to be around other people, besides Drew. Yesterday afternoon we spent about 2 hours just lying in bed. The four of us. We cuddled, talked and kissed. It was perfect. I want more days like that. 

I love, love, love being home with my little girl. I couldn't ask for anything better...I just wish Drew could be home with us more. I love watching him with his daughter. The way he cuddles her and talks to her just melts my heart. And I feel like he is missing out on these early days. She grows and changes each and every day.

I digress... this post was originally about my frustration on my new hermit status, but from the way my train of thought changed, I guess I'm just really frustrated that Drew has to work... stupid work. 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Sunday Social

Favorite handbag you've ever owned
My Coach purse (and matching wallet) that Drew bought me for Christmas 2 years ago. I love it because it goes with every outfit, is stylish and just the right size to hold everything I need. The sad thing is that I don't carry it much. During the school year I don't bring a purse to work, I just throw my wallet in my work tote bag (when I remember), but I use it at night or when I go out places. Since Fynn though, the purse has been stuck in the other room as I tote around the diaper bag. 

Dream handbag you lust over
I actually don't have a "dream" handbag anymore. In college and the first few years out of school I was obsessed with designer purses and ended up buying several of them... and now I don't use most of them. In fact, the only one I use is the Coach purse I mentioned in the last question.

Daily essentials in your purse or work bag
My wallet... which I usually forget. I tend to pull my wallet out and just take that places so when I grab my purse or work bag,m it's often not in there... and then I feel like an idiot. The other thing I have to have is lip gloss. Usually it's Blistex Silk an Shine. I've got about 10 of these tubes around the house, in my car, at work, in the diaper bag and of course in  my purse. 
What's in your purse(with pictures)
Like I said in question 1, now that Fynn is here, I'm sporting the diaper bag over the purse, so here's what we have stashed in there:

  1. Nursing cover
  2. Changing pad
  3. Blankets/Burp cloths
  4. Wipes
  5. Vaseline
  6. Extra clothes for Fynn
  7. Pacifier- I carry it, but she doesn't really use it
  8. Dirty diaper bags 
  9. A hat (yes, it's July, but that AC is rather chilly for a newborn
  10. Notepad & pen
  11. Booger sucker- no idea what this thing is really called
  12. Extra clothes for mommy (by the way, this picture was taken Wednesday and that shirt has already been needed.)
  13. Diapers
  14. Plastic bags for dirty clothes/diapers
  15. My awesome diaper bag itself
  16. My wallet...which I usually can't find
Honestly this bag is way more exciting then my actual purse, which currently has some mints, random change lip gloss, my morning sickness bands from the first trimester of pregnancy, and a copy of the reading I did at my grandfather's funeral last summer. Can you tell it's been while since I cleaned that bad boy out?

Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday's Letters


Dear Fynn,
I don't think I ever properly thanked you, but thanks for coming 11 days early... it pretty much made my life since I was a miserable, uncomfortable angry preggers by that point. Thank you for taking pity on me. Now take pity again and sleep more than an hour at a time during the night.

Dear Other Drivers,
Hi, you may not be aware of this, but I have a newborn in the back seat. Back off and let me drive 10 mph below the speed limit and slow down 100 miles before I turn. I know I'm driving like a little old lady, but if you saw the little peanut I've got in that carseat, you would drive really slow too.
The nervous mama in the black car

Dear Drew,
Please grow some boobs, so that you can feed our daughter. I love breastfeeding, but not at 12, 2, 4 and 6 am. Sleeping for a hour at a time is not cutting it.
Your tired wife

Dear Zoey,
I'm so sorry you're not getting the attention you used to get. I still love you as much as ever, I promise, but there's this little creature who needs me so much right now. I swear, some day I will make it up to you someday. Just know you are the best dog ever!

Dear stupid woman at the breastfeeding group last week,
No, your milk did not curdle inside of you when you sat out in the sun. The fact that you actually asked that question out loud says a lot about you.
Still laughing

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Oh Miss Fynn

The many faces of Miss Fynn. We were just hanging out on the couch:

"Why the heck are you taking my picture Mom?" 
"I'm such a happy baby!" 

So we decided to read a book: 
"Stupid duck is creepy"
"Hmmm... this page is complicated" 
"Yes! I get it!!!"
"Ok Mom, I'm tired of this silly book. Let's eat!" 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Temperature Question

Why is it that all winter long, when the woodstove is cranking and the thermostat reaches 70 degrees I'm all excited that it's "nice and toasty" in the house... yet today, with the AC on the thermostat says it's 75 in here, and I'm freezing? 

This makes no sense! 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Just got back from my breastfeeding support group. We weighed Fynn there and she's gained 8 ounces since last Wednesday... yay fat baby!!!!!

I am so so glad that she's gaining now and has gotten back to (and above!) her birth weight. Last week was so nerve wracking not knowing if she was getting enough to eat and whether we were going to have to switch to formula. I am so glad I stuck to my gut and continued with breastfeeding. Yeah, it's hard, but clearly it's working! 

Doesn't she look so big in this picture?!? It's amazing how much she has changed in just 2 short weeks!


... is hard. Really hard

And I don't mean the whole not sleeping because you're up 5 times a night to feed the baby (though that part sucks too). I mean the whole concept is hard. 

We came very close to giving up, completely.

I knew my whole pregnancy that I wanted to breastfeed. I had read all the research and agreed with the whole "breast is best" concept. It just made sense. I read a whole bunch of books on breastfeeding including those books that tell you all the things that are hard about it and strategies for making it work.

But I never knew it could be this hard and frustrating. The books are great, don't get me wrong, but the problem is that your baby hasn't read them! 

Right off the bat, I'm going to get all TMI on you (what did you expect, check the title of this post... you knew it was going to get awkward). I have a flat nipple. Which basically means it doesn't stick out as much as the other one, which makes it hard for Fynn to latch. Drew and I have jokingly named my boobs the "good boob" and the "bad boob" (original names right?).

It started in the hospital. I tried to feed, and the good boob worked. She latched well, ate well and all was good. Then we tried the bad boob... and things got harder. We had a lactation consultant come in and help out. She helped us get a good latch and I was all "sweet we have it figured out"... until we tried again and it didn't work. Even though we tried all the techniques and positions that she taught us... it just wasn't working. 

The day we left the hospital we had ANOTHER lactation consultant come in to help. She was older than dirt and helped, oh, not at all. But we left anyway, because we didn't know what else to do. Besides, we just needed practice... right?

Wrong. We got home, and things got more frustrating. My milk came in and Fynn was screaming and there was nothing I could do once she had finished the good boob. I tried a nipple shield, tried pumping to draw my nipple out, nothing worked. We even went so far as to pump the bad boob and use a syringe to feed her a little at a time. It was so frustrating and made me feel awful. Here I was, not giving my baby enough food because I couldn't figure out how to latch her onto a flat nipple. Come Tuesday morning, Fynn was one week old and we went in for a weight check... and she had lost more weight.

When she was born Fynn was 6 lbs, 2 oz. When we left the hospital she was 5 lbs 12 oz. That Tuesday at the pediatrician, she was 5 lbs 9 oz. The doctor said we needed to have another weight check done Wednesday to keep an eye on her and that we might have to consider supplementing because she was losing too much weight... I walked out to the car afterwards and sobbed. Clearly this wasn't working. I decided to go to a breastfeeding support group that was meeting Tuesday afternoon. I decided if they couldn't help me there, then we were done. I would pump and bottle feed Fynn because she needed more food then I was giving her. It broke my heart to make that decision, but I also knew that getting her more food was more important than anything else.

The support meeting was a little awkward. 11 women, 12 babies, boobs everywhere. We all talked about how breastfeeding was going for us and shared advise. I cried when it was my turn because I tried to explain how frustrated I was with my own body and trying to feed my baby. The lactation consultant who works with the group came over to watch me try on the bad boob. She then asked about the nipple shield we had tried.

Turns out, it was the wrong one! She recommended another type and set up an appointment with another lactation consultant at the hospital where Fynn was born. I left group, went to Babies R Us for the new shield and headed home still feeling dejected and frustrated. 

When we got home I washed a bottle, poured in some milk I had pumped earlier and handed the bottle to Drew. As he was just about to feed her I panicked and told him to wait a minute, I wanted to try the new shield first. If it didn't work then we would go with the bottle.

It worked. She latched right away and started gulping away like she was starving (which she probably was). The grin on my face was manic, I almost cried I was so happy, but I didn't want to think things were "fixed". It was too soon. This one good feeding could have just been a fluke. That night we had three good feedings, and two more the following morning. When we went to the lactation consultant Wednesday afternoon, she said the latch with the shield looked great. And we weighed Fynn. She was up to 5 lbs 12 oz. Now, granted, these weights were on different scales. I don't delude myself that she gained 3 ounces in one day, but the point is that her weight was going back up... I can deal with that.

Since using the shield we've had a lot of good feedings. Yeah, it's a pain in the butt to try to get the shield on when she's pecking my shoulder and sucking on my arm... but it's working! She's eating sooooo much more than she was before and I can see the difference in how much more alert she is between feedings. I can also see her filling out some more now. Her arms, legs and belly look nice and pudgy and I keep calling her my fat baby.

I have no illusions that things are "fixed". I know we will come across many more obstacles in this feeding journey, but I am so happy that we got through this firsts roadblock and that Fynn is doing better. I had so much guilt and angst about feeding her and trying to figure out the "right" thing to do. 

This mom-guilt stuff sucks! 

Monday, July 16, 2012

While Daddy's Away...

... Mama, Fynn and Zoey will play.

Drew's back at work today. Not going to lie, it freaks me out a lot little. I may or may not have cried (multiple times) over the past few days in anticipation of today.

 Most of what worries me is logistical stuff. For example, when we got up this morning, Zoey needed to go out. I couldn't leave the baby in the house, but I didn't want to bring out the stroller or baby sling. I ended up just holding Fynn and holding Zo's leash with the same hand that supported Fynn's butt. It was a little awkward, but it worked. Luckily Zoey is easy-going so she wasn't pulling or running. She just went out and did her business. Later I'm going to have to take her for a walk... which could be an adventure of its own! It's just little things like this that stress me out. I don't have routines in place for dealing with situation yet and I'm the type of person that stresses about unknown situations. Give me a week and we'll be all set. 

My biggest issue with being alone with the baby is that I just don't feel comfortable yet. I don't always know what she needs. Thank God we figured out the whole breastfeeding thing (I have a whole post about this that will be out... probably tomorrow) last week while Drew was home. I can't even imagine trying to take care of Fynn on my own while still dealing with the breastfeeding struggles we had the first week and a half! 

Well, it's 9:30 am... so far so good. We're up. Baby's been fed. Dog has been out. Mom had a donut :) 

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Sunday Social

Sunday Social

On our honeymoon.
Best trip you've ever been on

Our honeymoon to the Dominican Republic. It was perfect. We were so happy, newly married and on our first big trip together just the two of us. Combine that with white sand, turquoise ocean, and free drinks and you've got yourself the perfect vacation.

Best idea for a girls weekend trip

Cause wearing an Alligator hat makes you awesome
The best girl's weekend I've ever had was for a friend's bachelorette party. We didn't go far, just a local beach town, but it was amazing because of who we were with. We sat on the beach, went to a ton of different bars, meet sketchy guys (including a couple of 12 year olds riding their bikes at 2 am who had some, um, suggestive, ideas of the things they could do to us). I think what made that weekend perfect is that we had no real plan, and the beach... that helped too.

Best idea for a couples trip

Some place quiet and low key. Where there's no schedule and no agenda... just enjoying time together. I think that location would differ for every couple.  

Best vacation on the cheap

Staying home! That doesn't mean you don't do anything, but if you cut out the travel and hotel expenses, you can really enjoy doing things together, going out and having fun. I think the best times Drew and I have ever had together is when we were just bumming around and doing what we felt like doing. 

Barcelona 2011

Place you most want to visit

Everywhere! I feel like there are so many places I've never seen. I would love to go back to Spain, or visit anywhere in Europe. One place I REALLY want to go is Hawaii. Drew went with his family back in high school and I've always been jealous of his experience there. 

See, the vacation sweatshirt. 

Vacation/Travel necessities

I'm bad at this! I always forget something... usually something I really need. On the flip side I always pack a ton of stuff that I don't really need. My biggest necessity is that I have to pack extra warm clothes. No matter where I'm going, I end up cold.  

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Due date

Today's my due date, but I already have an 11 day old baby. Weird. My whole pregnancy I always assumed I'd be one of those women that makes it to 40 or even 41 weeks. Never did I think I'd deliver at 38 weeks and 3 days.

... But I am so glad she's here :) Happy due date Fynn, thanks for being an overachiever!

Friday, July 13, 2012


Random bits that don't quite fill posts of their own:

  • When I wrote Fynn's birth story, I forgot to mention that right before I started pushing, I went into the bathroom to fix my hair. Yes, I am THAT person. 
  • Fynn does this thing when she's hungry, that I call "Woody Woodpeckering". It's just like it sounds. She pecks at the shoulder of whoever is holding her like a little bird.
  • I take about 150 pictures of Fynn a day... I may be a little obsessed, but hey, how many times in your life can you say you actually created a human being?  (Unless you're Michelle Duggar... then you get to say it every 9 months)
  • This motion may have lead to me nicknaming my daughter Woody... which may or may not be a very unfortunate nickname for a little girl
  • I get really anxious when other people hold Fynn. Like my heart flutters into my stomach and I just want to snatch her back and cradle her in my arms. Except I don't because that would be rude... and crazy
  • Along the crazy lines... I really don't like putting Fynn down. When she's sleeping Drew is always trying to get me to put her in her swing or bouncy seats... but it just feels so much better to have her in my arms.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Top 10- Things to Know Before Having A Baby

Things you really should know before having a baby:
  1. All sense of modesty goes completely out the window when it comes to birthing a human being. When we got to labor and delivery they had me put on a gown. A few minutes later the nurse came in to put the monitor on my belly. She whipped up the gown and I was mortified that I wasn't wearing any underwear... 5 hours later I was spread eagle in front of about 8 people and I didn't even notice.
  2. You will pee yourself... in front of people, during and after labor. I probably peed in front of 6 people at the hospital. Since then I've lacked some bladder control. I went to get in the shower the other day and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. Thank God I am so comfortable with Drew that I was able to just laugh about it as I came downstairs to grab the mop.
  3. You can not "sleep whenever the baby sleeps". Everyone keeps giving me that advice... as they sit there holding my sleeping baby. Between all the visitors who are dying to see the baby to all the clean up involved in both having a baby and constant guests means that I sleep... oh, never. 
  4. On the same side... You don't NEED sleep, at least not much. I was a solid need 9 hours or I'm a monster sleep person before Fynn got here. Now I rock through a day with 4-5 interupted hours of sleep and I'm actually okay. I mean I'm tired, but I'm functional.
  5. You will constantly worry about your baby breathing. Maybe this is just my paranoia, but I didn't sleep the first night in the hospital because I had to keep checking to make sure she was still breathing. Every time she is sleeping now I have to put my hand on her chest or watch to see her move just to make sure she is okay. 
  6. The baby blues? Yeah, it's real stuff. You will find yourself sobbing at the stupidest things. Even worse? You will know it's ridiculous... but you just can't stop yourself.
  7. The "no period for 9 months" reason that pregnancy is great? Lie. Ok, yes, you don't have one for 9 months. However, the 4-8 week super period you get after having baby? Way worse!
  8. Breastfeeding hurts. And don't feed me that crap that if you're doing it right, it won't hurt. Yeah, we're doing it right (I have 3 lactation consultants that will verify she has a great latch). But unless you've spent some time pre-pregnancy having someone brutally suck and pull on your nipples in order to get fluid out... then it will hurt.
  9. Don't worry, this whole list isn't scary or bad things. I'm one week postpartum and I've lost 13 pounds... while still eating as much, if not more than, I ate while pregnant. Feels pretty good :) 
  10. Getting that baby out of your belly... will make you feel empty. No, I don't mean emotionally, I mean literally empty. I spent 38 weeks slowly growing this baby. Slowly feeling her move and kick, and in the span of about 5 hours... she's just out. It's a strange, strange feeling of emptiness.

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list later as I discover more gems about having a new baby that would have been nice to know before hand!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Fynn's Birth Story- Part 2

In case you missed it, it helps to read Part 1 of the birth story first. Just saying.

Once I kicked my mom out, things really stated to get on a roll. I started bouncing on the birthing ball (get it, on a roll???) and the contractions started getting closer together. Breathing through them became more and more difficult. The doctor checked me, said I was at an 8 and offered to break my water because it hadn't happened on its own yet. I agreed since I figured it might make things feel a little better. Got to say, weirdest feeling ever. She popped me with what looked like a knitting needle...and I gushed. I felt like I was peeing myself over and over again. I was so embarrassed! 

 It was at about this point that I asked Drew whether it was too late to reconsider. Drew asked if I was talking about reconsidering going into labor, but I meant the whole having a baby thing. He reassured me that it actually was too late to reconsider.

I was in a lot of pain at this point, so the nurse suggested I get in the tub. She put in some amazing hot water and turned the jets on so they pulsed right on my lower back, the part that was hurting the most. While in the tub is where I really lost it. The contractions were so close together that it felt like there was no break in between them. They had offered me an epidural or Fentanyl for pain. While I knew I didn't want an epidural... I started to reconsider while in the tub. I already had the IV and the resident who talked me through my pain options told me that it would just take the edge off the contractions. I was close to the point where they would no longer give me meds (the nurse told me once I hit 9 cm they wouldn't administer meds anymore). I was in the tub crying to Drew about how I didn't know if I could make it on my own anymore.

Drew was amazing. He kept reassuring me how amazing I was doing and how proud he was of me. He made me feel like I really was capable of doing this, but that he was totally supportive if I wanted to have some help. He helped me find the strength to keep going... I wouldn;t have been able to do it without him. 

Once I got out of the tub, things started moving fast. The contractions were coming one on top of each other and I was told we were almost ready... holy crap! I continued using the birthing ball and Drew was awesome about rubbing my back during every contraction. The doctor came in to check me again and said we could do a "practice push"... yeah, that failed. She said things weren't quite ready yet, so she would be back in 20 minutes. Not going to lie... I was upset. I had thought that we were ready to get the show on the road and then I was told that I would have to deal with 20 more minutes of contractions before we could try again.

Somehow I got through those 20 minutes... and then it really did get on the road. The doctor came back and I told her that I needed to push. I don't know how I knew, it was like my body just took over, but I knew it was time. Things were a blur after that. All I know is that people were in and out of the room. Something weird happened to the bed (Drew said that they broke it apart so like half of it was gone). They told me I could push when the contractions came so everytime I felt out I told them, scrunched up, and pushed. It felt like forever, but suddenly they were telling me they could see the head. They asked me if I wanted to touch her head. I think I said something along the lines of "ew gross, no way". Then her head was out and there was a lot of commotion because the cord was wrapped around her neck. They cut it, I kept pushing and suddenly she was here.
1) The moment I met Fynn 2)Holding my baby 3) Daddy and Fynn 4) Snuggles 5) First family photo
They put Fynn on my chest and it was just so surreal. She was finally here. All those kicks, jabs, hiccups and swirls were in my arm. I didn't really notice it at the time, but she was pretty blue. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I didn't really notice, but she pinked up quickly. Her 1 minute apgar was only a 6, but her 5 minute was a 9, so she got things together quickly. 

All I could do was sit and stare at her. In some part of my mind I knew the doctors and nurses were still down there and doing stuff. I started to really notice when they were stitching me up. They gave me lidocaine... but I could still totally feel it. 

So here's the part where I get to brag. I didn't realize it at the time, because I was too focused on the pain and doing what I needed to do, but I guess I was pretty good at this whole labor thing. All the doctors and nurses told me how amazing I was over and over again. Some of them were impressed that I did it all naturally. Others were impressed that I was only in active labor for less than 5 hours. And others were impressed that I only pushed for 12 minutes before she was out. Apparently most first-time mom's take at least an hour for that part. I'm proud of myself, for all of it and for making it through the most intense experience I've ever had. 

I don't know... I don't feel like I was really prepared for labor. It was a lot more intense and painful than I had let myself think about before that moment. On the other hand I feel like I was ready because I knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. I do know, that without Drew, I probably would have fallen apart and just given in to the pain, but he was amazing. He knew when I needed him to rub my back, and when I needed him to shut up. I'm not sure how he did it, especially when I didn't even know what I wanted, but he was truly what got me through all of it, and now we have our little girl... which is a million posts in itself, and we'll get to that. For now she needs to eat, and as her sole food source, I guess that means I'm up. 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Fynn's Birth Story- Part 1

I had to make sure I wrote all this down before I started forgetting the details. So here goes.

The belly on the day she was born
As you may remember, we visited labor and delivery on Saturday morning... where I was monitored for 2 hours, was 4 cm dilated... and then sent home. I ten spent Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday morning in a state of misery and depression. I honestly felt like I was going to be in "pre-labor" for another 2 weeks before giving birth. Not a good feeling.

Side bump
Tuesday morning we had an OB appointment at 10 am. Since I was actually dressed I took a weekly belly picture... cause who knew when I would actually care enough again to get dressed this week. SO glad I did that. I went to Drew's office to pick him up and we went in for our appointment. We had an ultrasound first where we got to see Fynn (and yes, I totally had them triple check that she was indeed a girl). She was looking great, fluid was great and was moving all around. The tech commented on how her head was right ON my cervix and how "that must be uncomfortable". Understatement of the century.

Then we went in to our appointment with the doctor, who I regaled with the tale of my misery. I also pointed out to her my lovely polka-dotted legs (new pregnancy symptom, my legs were red-ish and covered with little white polka dots about the size of pencil erasers). The woman took pity on me and talked about scheduling an induction for next Monday if I didn't go before then because all the contractions were going to make me too tired to deliver if they continued for another week or two. I loved her. Hated that I was going to have to wait until Monday, but was glad there was an end in sight.

And then she checked me.

I was 6 cm dilated, completely effaced and Fynn's head was "right there". So the doctor said she was sending us in. Honestly, I didn't get my hopes up. I figured she would send me in, they would monitor me for another 2 hours and then they would just send me home again. But then she decided she would strip my membranes. I have no idea what she actually did in there, but it hurt like hell and made me bleed. A lot. I left the doctors office barely able to walk with directions to eat lunch, walk a bit and head to the hospital because I was having a baby that night.

Whoa, this was real. Drew and I went back to his work where he grabbed his stuff. He left my dad's truck there because there was no way I could drive home the way I was feeling at that point. We went home, packed last minute things, ate, walked the dog... and then headed in.

By the time we got to the hospital at 1:45, it had been about 2 hours... and nothing was really going on. My contractions still felt the same as before and I didn't feel any different. But my doctor had called ahead and we got to skip triage and head straight to labor in delivery where they had already admitted me. Good thing too, because that place was CRAZY that night (must have been the full moon) and apparently later on that afternoon there were no rooms available. 

Anywho. We were admitted... and I started pacing. Because by that point I actually was having more contractions and they were getting more intense. I was hooked up to the monitors for Fynn's heart rate and contractions. It was cool to watch the contraction on the machine to see when they were peaking and ebbing but that took my concentration away from dealing with the pain, so I didn't do it for long. The nurse then told me they had to start and IV... which I REALLY didn't want. I hate needles and just didn't want one, so I asked if we could skip it since I didn't want meds anyway. She checking with the doctor who said I had to have the IV because I am so fair skinned and apparently fair skinned people bleed more in labor (so not sure if this is true or just a lie she told me to give me the IV). So she put in the IV (which I did NOT like) and gave me a bag of fluids to make sure I didn't get dehydrated. 
1) Our greeting at the hospital 2) Watching the contractions on the monitor 3) Walking around with my IV 4) My face after getting the IV 5) Our room number* 6) Those contractions hurt 7)Laboring in the tub.

 This is where the time piece gets a little fuzzy for me because I was focusing so much on breathing through the contractions that I wasn't paying much attention to the clock except when the nurse would say the doctor would be back in x-amount of minutes... then I would watch the clock like a hawk until that time came. I know I paced back in forth through the room for a LONG time just breathing through the contractions as they came and went. I know a resident came in and asked stupid questions about who lives in my house and whether I do drugs. I know that a doctor checked me and said I was at 7 at this point. Another nurse came in and was suitably impressed that I was walking and talking while 7 cm dilated. 

Around 3 or 3:30 I was still at 7 when the nurse walked in and said "Your mom is here" I swear my head swiveled off my neck as I whipped to look at her and said "are you ****** kidding me?" (I may have been a bit more explicit then that) I was a little surprised to have my mom there since I specifically said, about 100 times that I didn't want anyone but Drew there. Clearly that message was heard. Mom came in for about 5 minutes, shushed Drew who was helping me through a contraction and then I kicked her out. I'm not going to go on about it, because I'm sure everyone knows how I feel about this event, but I was proud of myself for telling her to leave. I knew what I wanted and wasn't afraid to say so... which is sometimes rare for me. 

This is getting long, so I'm going to stop for now and continue onto part 2 later. 

*For those of you who don't know, 26 is Drew and my lucky number. We started dating on the 26th, got engaged on the 26th, got married on the 26th and now had our baby in labor room 26... pretty significant I think. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sunday Social

Favorite TV show of the past
ER. I Could watch reruns of that show any time. My sister has every season on DVD and sometimes she is nice and lets me borrow them, LOVE IT! It's funny, heart-wrenching and compelling... all at the same time. I especially love the old '90's episodes. Abby and I used to watch reruns on TNT throughout our childhood and watching them again just brings that all back. 

Favorite TV show currently

Rookie Blue. Don't even know what to say about this one... just love it. Even better? The hubby loves it too which makes it one of the few shows we both look forward to watching. 

Which Reality Show would you NEVER do?

Any one the ones trying to find "Love" Bachelor/Bachelorette and all others like that. No one actually goes on the show to really fall in love and it would just depress me to like someone who's just there for the cameras or who portrays themselves as someone their not. Just too fake for me.  

Which Reality Show would you LOVE to do?

I would love to do the Amazing Race... is that show still on? It would be so cools to see all the different places they go to, and to do with with a loved one... however, I would probably do it with Drew... who would kill me on day 2 as I start sobbing that I'm lost and/or tired... so thought I would love it, not ever happening! 

TV personality/character that you feel is most like you?

I'd say Lorelai from Gilmore Girls. I tend to spew whatever comes to mind no matter how ridiculous/odd/inappropriate it is for the moment. However, like her, I (usually) mean well in it... it just kinda comes out. 

TV character you'd want to date?

I love Damon, from the Vampire Diaries (yes, I'm secretly a teenage girl... love that show!) He's that perfect mix of bad boy and caring guy... not to mention that he's kinda hot. But of COURSE, that is only if I were single. I am perfectly happy with my hubby (Drew, do you still read my blog?) 
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