Thursday, July 12, 2012

Top 10- Things to Know Before Having A Baby

Things you really should know before having a baby:
  1. All sense of modesty goes completely out the window when it comes to birthing a human being. When we got to labor and delivery they had me put on a gown. A few minutes later the nurse came in to put the monitor on my belly. She whipped up the gown and I was mortified that I wasn't wearing any underwear... 5 hours later I was spread eagle in front of about 8 people and I didn't even notice.
  2. You will pee yourself... in front of people, during and after labor. I probably peed in front of 6 people at the hospital. Since then I've lacked some bladder control. I went to get in the shower the other day and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. Thank God I am so comfortable with Drew that I was able to just laugh about it as I came downstairs to grab the mop.
  3. You can not "sleep whenever the baby sleeps". Everyone keeps giving me that advice... as they sit there holding my sleeping baby. Between all the visitors who are dying to see the baby to all the clean up involved in both having a baby and constant guests means that I sleep... oh, never. 
  4. On the same side... You don't NEED sleep, at least not much. I was a solid need 9 hours or I'm a monster sleep person before Fynn got here. Now I rock through a day with 4-5 interupted hours of sleep and I'm actually okay. I mean I'm tired, but I'm functional.
  5. You will constantly worry about your baby breathing. Maybe this is just my paranoia, but I didn't sleep the first night in the hospital because I had to keep checking to make sure she was still breathing. Every time she is sleeping now I have to put my hand on her chest or watch to see her move just to make sure she is okay. 
  6. The baby blues? Yeah, it's real stuff. You will find yourself sobbing at the stupidest things. Even worse? You will know it's ridiculous... but you just can't stop yourself.
  7. The "no period for 9 months" reason that pregnancy is great? Lie. Ok, yes, you don't have one for 9 months. However, the 4-8 week super period you get after having baby? Way worse!
  8. Breastfeeding hurts. And don't feed me that crap that if you're doing it right, it won't hurt. Yeah, we're doing it right (I have 3 lactation consultants that will verify she has a great latch). But unless you've spent some time pre-pregnancy having someone brutally suck and pull on your nipples in order to get fluid out... then it will hurt.
  9. Don't worry, this whole list isn't scary or bad things. I'm one week postpartum and I've lost 13 pounds... while still eating as much, if not more than, I ate while pregnant. Feels pretty good :) 
  10. Getting that baby out of your belly... will make you feel empty. No, I don't mean emotionally, I mean literally empty. I spent 38 weeks slowly growing this baby. Slowly feeling her move and kick, and in the span of about 5 hours... she's just out. It's a strange, strange feeling of emptiness.

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list later as I discover more gems about having a new baby that would have been nice to know before hand!


  1. Here's one that I added to my list. I was always told that my breasts would go back to their pre-pregnancy size after the baby is weaned. Hmmmm..... nine and a half years later I'm still waiting! LOL

  2. Funny! Oh - and so very true! I was mortified to have a male OB prior to a complication with my first baby at 32 weeks (I had a fall). A male doctor came rushing in to the L&D triage room, stuck an upside down bedpan under my rear and shined a flashlight in my nether-regions. Now - not so worried about who sees what! :)


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