Saturday, September 22, 2012

So Not Ready

Fynn starts daycare Monday. Granted, it's only a half day, but I'm so not ready. Which is the reason why she's going half days, to help me get used to it. She will be fine. She probably won't even notice that I'm gone (which both relieves me and breaks my heart at the same time). This little girl has (literally) been attached to me for almost a year now. Those 9 months in which I carried her around everywhere and the past 3 where I've only been away from her for an hour or less at a time. It kills me to know how much we will be apart. How I won't know everything that she does during the day. How I will probably miss a lot of firsts and milestones. 

I know, I know. I'll get through this. And in the end I know that she will be no worse for the wear because she goes to daycare. In fact she will reap some benefits from going...but I just wish there was some way I could stay home with her just a little longer. Until she is more independent. Until she's a little older. I just feel like she's still too young. I am absolutely appreciative and grateful for the time I've had. I know many moms who had to go back to work at 6 weeks, so getting 12 with her is an absolute blessing... it just doesn't feel like enough.

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