Monday, September 17, 2012

The Last Week

This is it, our last full week of maternity leave. Not going to lie... I'm freaking out. When she was 6 weeks old, I got my doctor's note for an additional 6 weeks thinking that by then we would be ready. She would be 12 weeks old and I would feel comfortable leaving her.

That was a fantasy.

She will be 11 weeks old tomorrow, and while I'm a million times more comfortable with taking care of her and knowing that she will still be alive even if I leave her sleeping alone for 2 hours before I go to be (ok... I still check on her every 20 minutes or so, but that's WAY better than not being able to leave the room... right?) but I am in no way prepared to leave her for hours at a time.

Next Monday Fynn starts daycare. She is doing half days Monday-Wednesday and then full days Thursday and Friday when I go back to work... I'm crying just thinking about it.

How do I leave her? Will she be okay? What if she thinks I've abandoned her? What if she refuses to take a bottle there? How will I manage several hours without her sweet, warm body in my arms? 

I don't think I can do this. 

5 comments:

  1. I feel for you :( I know this is going to be impossible for me when the time comes too. I will be a really hard adjustment, but at least being a teacher allows you to have a little bit more flexibility in terms of your afternoons, etc. I hope it all works out and you can find a good balance! And don't worry - everyone sobs like crazy the first day. It may never get easier but it will get better.

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  2. You can do it!!! It'll be rough in the beginning but you'll eventually find your groove and best of all, Fynn will be TOTALLY FINE. I think you'll enjoy the bit of "me" time you get every morning, even if that's just drinking your Starbucks and enjoying some music on the way to work. That's kinda what I live for nowadays ;) This also makes the time you spend with her even more precious!

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  3. You absolutely can do it! I've done it twice and it gets easier over time. For me, I get so focused in on work that the time flies! Hopefully you trust you daycare provider, that will make it a ton easier. As for Fynn, it may take her a few days, but she'll adjust! Babies are resilient! Good luck!

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  4. Oh I know that will be so hard for both of you. I haven't personally gone back to work yet (by kids are 4 and 7) but I've watched of my friends and their babies get through this time and thrive. It's perfectly normal and natural to feel sad and worried (worry is a way of life once you have a little one!) but know that moms do this every day and kids survive and flourish. The important thing is that at the end of the day, she will still have time with you and it'll be amazing quality time, and you will both learn to be present and enjoy it all the more. Good luck. I hope you let us know how its going by linking up at The Parent 'Hood again next week.

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  5. I cried the whole week before and the first 3 days... It gets easier. Good luck :)

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