Monday, October 29, 2012

Blonde Moment of the Week

I have a student named Hannah.

Hannah painted a poster with her name on it Friday and brought it in to show it to me.

I looked at it, confused, and asked "why did you paint your name backwards"

2 seconds later I realized what I had done. Impressive. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Should I be worried?

I live right above the red. Everything I see the local police department's Facebook page tells me to prep for power outages. 

I'm totally in the red on this one. 
I'm a paranoid person by nature, so a big part of me wants to go in major prep mode and get water, more batteries/flashlights, a bunch of food and prepare as though we're going to get hit bad.

Drew? Is all "meh" about it. He's usually a pretty good judge of when to be worried... but I can't help thinking he's a little too unconcerned about this one... and of course he's not home right now to reassure me. He's been at my parents all day doing some project with my dad.

So, should I be worried? 

Also, is it bad that my biggest concern with the potential loss of power is that my precious supply of breast milk in the freezer could be in jeopardy? Seriously, I'll be upset if anything happens to that liquid gold. 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Pumping Thought of the Day

So the other day I was sitting in an empty classroom at work. Pumping. I was mentally going through all of the things I had to get done that day and figuring out when I could fit in my other pumping sessions and worry about what my class was doing at that moment with the sub who was covering for me... and then I had a funny thought. How hilarious would it be if I actually wasn't pumping. If I was just just hanging out in that empty room reading magazines and taking a break... wouldn't that be the life?

And then I remembered. That I'm doing this for my sweet little baby, who deserves the best... and that figuring out coverage/what the heck my kids are going to do for those 20 minutes every morning and afternoon is way more work then just staying there and teaching. WAY more work.

But seriously. How funny would that be? 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear 3rd grade math student,

That awkward moment when I declared your work to be "beautiful" and you shouted back "you're beautiful". I laughed it off, but it made my day.

Your teacher who REALLY needed that ego boost

Dear Fynn,

Your new belly laugh? Melts.My.Heart. every time. Love, love, love it.

Please continue to laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world. 

Dear Fynn (again),

Please, please, please grow some hair. While your current peach fuzz is adorable and so fun to run my hand over... I have a (rather extensive) collection of barrettes and hair clips just waiting to grace your beautiful head. So get on that.

Your mom... who wants to treat you like the real-life doll that you are 

Dear red velvet cake,

You are delicious, and I love you. My thighs however? Love you even more and want to hold on to you... this love affair needs to end

Need to stop being a fat kid

Thursday, October 25, 2012

It's Ok Thursday

Its Ok Thursdays
  • To REALLY want to go to bed at like 8 every night. So.Tired.All.The.Time
  • To have basically become a mom blogger, even though I always swore my blog wouldn't become all about baby... how wrong I was
  • To wish I could live in a hot shower or bath. Forever. Without getting wrinkly or being awkwardly naked all the time
  • To forget my water tumbler at home, so I used a red solo cup all day. Totally brought on some college flashbacks 
  • That I just yelled at the dog while writing this post because she barked (for no reason at all), and woke up the baby, after I spent half an hour getting her to sleep

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sunday Social

1. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?
Ok, so technically we weren't kids... but in high school Drew and I decided to go trick-or-treating (hello, free candy!) so we put together an impromptu costume. We took my dad's fur-lined coat, turned it inside-out, added a little nose and voila; Drew was a bear. I put on a heavy winter jacket, some blush on my cheeks and my little brother's fake fishing pole, and I was an Eskimo. Perfect. Quick, free costumes and lots of free candy. 

2. If you could go back and dress up as something what would it be?
No idea... I'm sure when I was a kid there were plenty of things I wanted to be, but I can't think of any of them now. 

3. Favorite costume as an adult?(pictures)

That year in high school was the last time I dressed up for Halloween so I don't really have an adult costume. I passed on the dress up in college since everyone was going with the "sexy"-whatever costumes that were more skanky than anything else. 

4. Favorite Halloween Candy?
Sour Patch Kids... if we buy them to hand out, I'll end up eating them all. 

5. Favorite Halloween Memory?

When I was a kid there were some dads in the neighborhood who got together and did a hay ride for all the kids. It was awesome because you got to see everyone AND you got rides to all the houses which meant you got to hit up more house then you could on foot. 

6. Whats your favorite scary movie?

I no longer like scary movies since they give me nightmares and make me scared of my own house. BUT when Drew and I were in high school we went through a phase where we watched every single scary movie we could find. My favorite from back then was Hitcher... I don't even remember who was in it, I just remember it was about a hitchhiker who was picked up by a psycho and it scared the crap out of me for weeks. 

Sick Baby

I was home sick with the baby Monday. She was sick. It was the saddest thing in the world to hear her sniffle and wheeze. Pretty sure it was just a little cold as she didn't have a fever at all, but I decided to stay home with her anyway, so she could get some rest and hopefully feel better... not to mention after listening to her wheeze all night long I was not in any state to go to work. Of course, being that I've only been back at work for a month, I didn't have my sub folder finished yet... so I had to go in at 6:30 to put together last minute plans. Yuck. 

On the plus side, we discovered that Fynn is a very happy sick baby. She may have been stuffed up and wheezy, but she was all smiles and just wanted to play all day long. 

Then Drew stayed home with her yesterday... I think they had a lot of fun because when I came home I found her bath toys all over the bath tub, and Drew sent me a cute picture of her feeding herself a bottle. This morning she seemed fine, so I sent her to daycare. She had a great day and seems to be on the mend. Good thing too, because it was just too sad to see her all sick. 

And on another plus side, she only got up once last night. ONE. TIME. which is 3-4 less times than usual... so I am incredibly grateful. And remarkably well-rested. Its been a good day. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Twice in one week

Maine hardly ever makes it into the national news. But this week, we managed to do it twice. First for our lovely Zumba prostitution ring, then for our earthquake the other night. I guess we like being known for our ability to rock your world. (I know, bad jokes... but I couldn't help myself)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sunday Social

Sunday Social
1. What do you value most in life?
My family. I don't know what I would do without the hubs, the bitty-baby and the pup. They're my life...especially that little baby.

2. What do you think is the greatest invention in your lifetime and why?
Smartphones. OMG how did people get by without instant access to everything known to man? Okay, maybe it's more the internet. Especially as a new mom. How on earth did moms deal with all the new and weird baby crap without being able to google it and figure out what's going on????

3. What do you think is the secret to a good life?

Appreciating what you have. Which is something I'm not good at. I tend to get bogged down in all the negative going on and overlook just how good I have it. I'm working on that. 

4. What would you most like to be remembered for when you’re gone?
That's a tough question. I guess for just being a good person. I want my family to know how much I love them and to remember all the good times we've had together. 

5. What accomplishment in your life are you most proud of?
It's kinda weird, but I'm insanely proud of giving birth to Fynn. Not just in the whole "I created a whole human being" piece (which is kinda beyond awesome if I do say so myself) but also in that I was able to have an all natural, med-free birth experience. Yeah, it was hard. But I am so proud of myself for not giving in and asking for meds*. It was my plan all pregnancy and I am so excited that I was able to make it through

6. If a movie was made about your life, who would you want to play you?

I feel like this question gets asked a lot in blog questions... because I know I've answered it before. Which I don't get. Sorry, no offense, but who cares? There's not going to be a movie made about me, and if there were, I would most likely have no say in who plays me. 

*That's not to say ANYTHING against women who have pain meds, for me it just would have been giving in because I knew I didn't really want them. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Tumbleweeds of Blonde Hair

Are falling out of my head.

I guess it's the postpartum hair loss. Which I knew was coming. But it still took me by surprise. 

When Fynn was just a few weeks old I went to my breastfeeding support group and a couple of women there with older babies were talking about how they were losing their hair like crazy. The lactation consultant that ran group said that it was normal about 3 months after having a baby to lose a lot of hair. Supposedly during pregnancy you don't lose hair (which I call bs on, since I lost a ton at the time, but I digress) Naive little me thought that I would be immune to the hair loss since I lost so much during pregnancy.

Not so much.

In the shower I pull out clumps. CLUMPS. of my hair just by running my fingers through it. I brush my hair and it looks like I just tried to shave my head. Ugh! I have such thin, fine hair as it is... I don't need to be going bald on top of it.

Will the glamour of having a baby never cease? 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Maine doesn't have earthquakes

...but we did last night.

So weird. I was upstairs getting jammers for Fynn when the house started shaking. I honestly thought the furnace was blowing up or something. It only lasted about 15 seconds, but the whole house shook and it really freaked me out. Mostly because we didn't know what it was. We stood around like idiots for about 5 minutes trying to figure out what had happened. We checked the furnace, stood out on the front stoop listening (not sure what we expected to hear) looked in the sky for low flying planes... but nothing happened. Drew turned on the news channel, to see if they would say anything. And then I hit up Facebook. Which immediately confirmed that it was an earthquake via about 50 status updates about it.

It's amazing that Facebook can spread breaking news long before the actual news gets it to us.

Ended up being a 4.5 magnitude quake that was centered about 25 minutes from my house. This is Maine... we're not supposed to get things like this. However, in the 3 1/2 years we've lived in this house, we've now had an earthquake and a tornado... so I guess Maine isn't as safe as I would like to think it is.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The New Influenster

If you remember from back in July, I'm part of the Influenster network and through them I have gotten some sweet free samples to review (in fact, within the next week I'll be getting another box... so psyched) Recently Influenster has have a complete overhaul and makeover. At first I was annoyed, because it sounded like it was going to be more work and more difficult to qualify for their sample boxes. Once the new site was up, I kept seeing all these negative reviews on Facebook and Twitter, but I was lazy and didn't check it out for a few weeks.

Finally, last week I checked it out. While I'm still getting used to it, I actually like it a lot better. Now I get credit for all the reviews I post on products I love (and hate!), so it looks like I might qualify for more stuff. Hello, I went on for 3 days updating my profile and chilling on the site and qualified for the Beauty Blogger VoxBox. Sweet deal.

It's not perfect (if it was I'd get free stuff every day) but it seems like it has more opportunities to leave feedback for companies, see new products and get heard. It's also fun. If you're interested, head on over to Influenster and sign up... it looks like new members have to be invited (I'm not 100% sure on that because I'm still getting used to the new site, but that's what it looks like), so if you send me your e-mail I can send you the invite. It's free to join, and lots of fun

* I was not paid or compensated for this post, however writing about the new site does earn my points on Influenster which can eventually lead to free swag* 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Shhhhhh... I can't say this out loud

But typing it is cool.

Fynn slept for 7 hours straight last night. I had to whisper that, we can't say this things aloud.


I feel like a new woman today

And now I'm going to go knock on every piece of wood in our house and pray that I didn't jinx myself for future nights of bliss. 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear students,

That awkward conversation we're going to have to have soon about where I go every day with my "little black bag". Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it. But since you keep asking the teachers covering for me, I know this moment has to come... but I'm going to avoid it like the plague for as long as humanly possible.

Your teacher, who's still figuring out how to address this without getting tmi with you

Dear coworkers,

I love you. You get me, you look out for me, and I would be even more of a mess if it weren't for your constant support and help.

Thank you!
Your mess of a teacher across the hall

Dear Zoey,

I love you, I miss you all day long too. But I swear, If you don't stop clawing my leg the second I get home, I'm going to lose it on you. You have sharp, pointy little claws and I'm just trying to get my 2 bags, Fynn's bag and, oh yeah, THE BABY, into the house without killing any of us. You're. NOT. Helping.

The woman with the torn up legs. 

Dear 1-year-old at daycare,

You need to stop that weird laugh/cry thing that you do. 1) it annoys me 2) Fynn doing it will annoy me even more.

Fynn's mom

Dear Fynn,

Wednesday. When I was so.freaking.excited. to see you after school. I got to daycare, saw your giggly face and the big smile. And then you saw me. You locked eyes with me, and started sobbing. Broke.My.Heart. I get that you like daycare and the cool fun kids there. But Mama needs some love baby girl.

Mom... please at least pretend to be excited to see me

You've caught me on a really good day, when my hair is washed.

Slight exaggeration... except one night last week night. When I was falling asleep and I realized I hadn't washed my hair in the shower. But usually I manage to at least be clean.

What I can't seem to manage is everything else. Being back at work has lead to both my work and my life suffering... and I'm kinda miserable. 

I'm a crappy teacher right now. Straight up. I get nothing done because during my preps and lunch I go pump. And when I'm teaching, my heads just not really in the game. I also leave twice during classes to pump and have to get coverage... which means I have to leave independent work or busy work for my kids to do while I'm gone. And even when I am teaching all I think about is the baby and what she's doing and whether she's happy.

And then I get home. And the baby doesn't really care that we're together again. She's tired, I'm tired, we're both cranky, and I don't truly cherish our time together the way I should. 

All this came to a head yesterday morning. I started sobbing the second Drew walked out the door with her (FYI, up to this point, I hadn't cried since the first morning I went back). Then I cried all the way to school. I pulled myself together, was getting prepped for the morning, when a good friend walked in. She could tell instantly that I was having a rough morning. Of course the instant she gave me that sympathetic look... I melted into tears. I ended up sobbing to my three best work friends about how hard it was and how tired I am. I. Was. Pathetic.

Straight up

And they were amazing. I am so blessed to work with such loving, caring, people. They get where I'm at right now, even though most of them have kids who are my age or older. They love me. They look out for me. And they do everything in their power to help me out... even when it makes their lives more difficult. I love them.

Nothings improved, nothing has changed, but I felt better today. Maybe it was getting it all off my chest. Maybe it was coming to that realization that I'm not the only one whose ever felt this way. Maybe I just needed a good cry, but today felt better Let's see what tomorrow brings. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


At what point will this all really sink in? The fact that I have a daughter... that I'm a mom. 

I use those words. I take care of my baby. I refer to my husband as Daddy... but there's this part of me that doesn't feel like it's real. 

I have a child... it's the weirdest feeling in the world. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Apparently Rice Cereal is the Solution to all that Ails Me

In going back to work, I am now inundated with unsolicited advice. Again. I mistakenly thought that the advice and awkward questions would end when the baby was outside my body. My bad. Though on a side note, I did have a sub tell me in the hall the other day that I was "so much thinner" then the last time she saw me. Yeah, something about no longer being 9 months pregnant will do that for a girl. 

Back to the subject at hand, unwanted advice. People are full of it. The one I've heard a lot lately? Rice cereal. Yeah, apparently it will solve all my baby woes: 

 Baby was up 5 times last night? Rice cereal in her bottle will make her sleep 12! Whole! Hours! Oh, I breast feed. Apparently I can "put the rice cereal in that too (omg the mental image that popped up during THAT conversation!)

I have to go pump 2-3 times during the work day? I could just add rice cereal to it so that I wont have to give her as much

She's 3 months old and hasn't had rice cereal yet? She probably won't grow as well, I really should start adding some solids in to help her out. 

Along the same lines, when people ask about introducing solids/switching to formula, they are appalled when I inform them that I plan to exclusively breastfeed until she is 6 months and then continue to breastfeed with added solids until she weans herself. Apparently that is the "wrong" thing to do, even though both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization agree that doing so is what's best for babies. They must be wrong. 

Obviously if nursing stops working for us, then we'll stop, but if it's possible, I want to stick to these guidelines because I believe the research I've read as well as feel in my gut that it's best for her... Now I just need people to leave me alone. Rice cereal is not happening for a long time, if at all given the new findings on rice

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I'll Never Understand...

  • Why baby mobiles only play for about a minute or two. Hello, that means I have to wind it 20 times before she passes out!!!! 
  • Why the last bowl of cereal from a box has to have so many crumbs, can't the cereal companies find a better way to package that stuff so it remains whole?
  • Why people feel it's okay to ask personal questions about pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc. Yeah, baby is so.SUPER.exciting... but I don't need to talk to you about such personal details. No really I don't.
  • Why the weather in Maine goes from 85 degrees at night to 30 in the span of a week. It's like August is summer and September is suddenly winter... I guess that's just Maine in general.
  • Why everything is so expensive, yet my paycheck is so small... how am I supposed to buy more headbands for the baby when I have no money?
  • Why the food that taste so good, are the ones that are so bad for me...with all our technology you would think we would have found a way for lettuce to taste like cookies and celery to taste like chocolate. Seriously. 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Back to School, Back to School...

... to show my dad that I'm no fool- sorry, I had a little Billy Madison moment there. 

Anywho. Yeah, I'm back at work. On the one hand, I feel more like "me" being back at work. It's nice to have something to accomplish during the day and to feel productive. On the other hand, it sucks to be away from my baby girl all day.

It's rough being away from her, but one of the perks of teaching is that I'm so busy all day long that I don't have much time to dwell on it. The day literally flies by as I run around and try to get everything done. The only time I have time to miss her is as I'm pumping... since I can't really get much done during those two 15 minute session a day.

I also have the bonus of getting additional days off compared to other jobs. Like Monday. Yay Columbus! 

All in all, being back is both better and worse then I thought it would be. It's harder then I could have imagined to say goodbye to Fynn in the morning. I'm also way beyond exhausted. It shocks me how little sleep I'm able to function on these days, since before pregnancy I was a mess with less than a full 8 hours. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

3 Months

Little girl, you are 3 months old!

This month you:
  • Are at least 13 pounds... this whole working thing and not going to group every week means I don't get to weigh you on Tuesdays... I miss that. But in the last week you have outgrown all your 0-3 month clothing and a lot of your 3 month stuff too! Its funny because you have enough room in the belly for those things, but you're just too long. Who would have thought that I (at 5' 2") would have a tall baby? Still trying to figure out who you got that from.
  • You're borderline size 2 diapers. We're using up our stash of 1's during the day right now and going with 2's at night
  • Laugh! You've been giggling for more then a month now, but a couple of times lately you've had a true belly laugh. So sweet. You love funny noises and faces, especially if your daddy makes them. You also like fart noises... I'm so proud

  • This month you've gotten the hang of your hands. You grab things and play with them. It is so cool to see you exploring and figuring things out. You've also gotten good at sucking your thumb. You used to jab it at your face and often stick it up your nose or into your eye and then get upset. Or you'd get it in your mouth and end up gagging yourself. It's cute to see you really get it
  • Had a couple of major blowouts documented in pictures... your father and I have decided to save those for future boyfriends, consider this fair warning.

  • Still love baths, but now you love showers too. You lean your head into the spray and get the biggest grin on your face. When you do take baths you're starting to splash all over the place. I think we're going to have to put your infant tub into the real tub before you flood the bathroom

  • You concentrate REALLY hard. You make a funny face when you do it, but you will stare at things like you're trying to figure them out. So funny. 

  • Are sleeping in a pack n' play in our bedroom. You outgrew your co-sleeper awhile ago, and then you slept in bed with me, but that wasn't really working for either of us (as in you would only sleep laying on my belly and I wouldn't sleep at all) now that you're used to the pack n' play you go to sleep better at night and sleep longer (most of the time!)

  • Rolled over! But you only did it once! You were 11 weeks old and you went from front to back. You worked SO hard and were REALLY excited when you had done it, but you haven't done it since, which makes me sad! 

It blows my mind that you've been a part of our family for three whole months now. I still don't think of myself as a mom, but you are absolutely my baby and I love seeing you grow and learn and change... it's truly amazing. 

Monday, October 1, 2012


I hate pumping. 

I absolutely love breastfeeding. It's the most amazing, comfortable and nurturing thing I do for my baby. While it started off rough (omg was it hard) and we've had our setbacks, I love it. I love how easy it is, how healthy it is for her, and mostly how it feels to have her snuggled up against me while she eats.

That said. I hate pumping. I feel like I cow when I do it. In fact Drew will often make some sort of cow comment/sound if he's around while I do it. I also just don't feel comfortable. No, it doesn't hurt, but it's not the best feeling in the world. It also makes me focus on the numbers. As in ounces. When I nurse Fynn, I have no idea how much she gets, and that's cool because I know she's getting what she needs by her cues (and the fact that she's gaining weight). When I pump I see how much I actually get, and it's never really enough.

When Fynn takes a bottle she takes about 3 ounces... right now when I pump I get between 2 and 4. I'm trying to pump enough to make sure she has enough for daycare each day because I send 4 3-ounce bottles each day, but the days I have been back to work, I haven't pumped exactly that much, so it becomes all about upping my output and pumping more often.

Oh, have I mentioned how awkward it is at work? Yeah, because someone has to come in and cover my class when I go pump, and then I get to go down to the "milk room" which is reached by walking through someone else's office and into a large storage closet. The place itself isn't bad, just awkward to get to. About as awkward as walking down the hall with my pump. Yes, it's in a "discreet" little bag, but as no one carries bags around school, it stands out like a sore thumb.
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