Friday, March 15, 2013

Friday's Letters

Dear parent volunteer at school,


Thanks for your advice about my daughter's sleep habits. I especially liked the fact that you said she's a behavior issue and is manipulating me when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I know your kid slept through the night at 6 weeks, so my kid must be trying to take advantage of me. I should probably bring her to your house at night so you can "fix" her.

Sincerely,
I must be a behavior issue too, since I still wake up in the middle of the night.



Dear new followers,

Hi! I'm so glad you've joined me. I've been getting so many more comments, tweets, and e-mails lately from people reading my blog. Love you guys, thanks for all the love and support.

Love,
This happy blogger

Dear Zoey,

That buzzing you're hearing in your ears at night isn't actually bees. It's Fynn's white noise machine set to "Summer Night". Sorry to freak you out so much. Now please stop shaking your ears out at 3 am and scaring the crap out of me.

Thanks,
I hate those damn crickets too, but it helps her sleep.


Dear person who hacked my Walmart.com account,

You suck. Hacking me was one thing, charging $180 was a step too far. Luckily they e-mailed me when you changed all my account info, so I was able to call my bank withing 8 hours of your hacking. But now I have to wait for a new card from the bank, I'm not a patient person. I hope you got something good.

Not cool, Not cool


Dear Drew,

Telling me not to spend money this week because you don't want to transfer money into our account? That's basically begging me to drop some cash. Even without my debit card I can do some damage

Love,
You so brought this on yourself

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha, I love your last letter because I feel that way SO often! When my husband points out the fact that we've spent more than maybe we should on eating out and other for the month, it just makes me want to go out to dinner and all of the sudden, nothing in my house sounds good to me!

    ReplyDelete

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