Monday, April 22, 2013

At 3 am, all bets are off

98% of the time I love the fact that I breastfeed Fynn. I love our bonding time together and the fact that I know I'm doing what I feel is best for her*. But, at 3 am... all bets are off. The one thing I hate about breastfeeding is that it all relies on me. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night while Drew gets to stay warm and cozy in bed... more often than not snoring away blissfully unaware that she's even woken up. As I sit in the rocking chair nursing her... I find myself resenting him for not having to do this. I know it's horrible, but in my sleep deprived state I often vow that our next child will be formula fed... just so he has to be equally involved in the middle of the night.

That's not saying he's not involved. We've had this fight a million times in the past 9 1/2 months. He does a lot for Fynn... but it sometimes feels like it all falls on me** When we're together, I'm obviously the one who feeds Fynn. When we're apart I have to pump, then put together the bottles, then wash said bottles and my pump... because apparently he can't help with any of that? Frustrating, because I'll mention it and he'll go on and on about all the other stuff he does do. Awesome. But I don't see you getting up in the middle of the night to get her back to sleep. He has (lately) gotten better about getting up and getting her for me some nights... but he often sleeps through her cries (which I just don't understand in the least big) and doesn't understand why I huff out of bed to go get her again.

So at 3 am, or whatever time she gets up on any given night... I find myself resenting the fact that I'm up again, exhausted, trying to get her back to sleep... while he got to flop over and pass back out.



*please no snark on the whole breast/formula feeding debate. We all do what we feel is best and that works for us... I won't judge you if you don't judge me. Deal?

**Drew, shut up. I don't want to fight about this again... just venting how I feel

1 comment:

  1. I am the only one who feeds WB and we use formula! I think B has fed him a dozen times? In a year.

    Will she take a bottle at all? Can you pump and have her take a bottle from him?

    Ramblings of a Suburban Mom

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