Monday, May 20, 2013

Every now and then... I'd just like to be left alone

I'm needed. All day every day.

I teach all day long where I have 26 lovely cherubs all needing me to explain this, show them that, or repeat myself for the 593,234,231,442 time that day. I'm constantly flagged down by waving hands or calls of "Mrs. M-, can you look at this?"

Literally climbing all. over. me
Then I go home. Where I have the dog and the baby literally crawling at my heels from the second I get in the door. Zoey is just so excited to see me that she jumps on my legs and scrambles around my feet while I just try to get all Fynn and my stuff into the house without dropping any of it or her. 

Most nights Fynn just wants attention. Snuggles and nursing and entertainment. She's tired (because she hasn't figured out that napping at daycare makes all of our lives better) and a little cranky and just needs some Mommying.

And me? I just want a second to myself. I want to pee without little hands climbing up my leg. I want to sit on the couch without the constant "eh eh"of a baby or pawing of the dog who is feeling neglected. I want to feel like I only have to worry about myself for about .2 seconds. I want no one to need me for just a little bit.

4 comments:

  1. While I don't understand your situation, I appreciate your honesty! I am a teacher (of 130 high schoolers, so they aren't quite as needy), and I'm expecting my first in about 2 weeks. BUT we don't have a dog. AND I'm taking off next school year.
    I just hear more and more that you just don't have time alone. And you, personally, want to be alone for a minute! You have to be "on" at work all day. Then you have to be "on" again when you get home. That is exhausting, both physically and mentally.
    You deserve a day at the spa! Okay, maybe not a day. An hour. You deserve an hour at the spa. Good luck to you!

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  2. I hear you and completely understand where you're coming from. There are times where I wish I had more time. I'm not a teacher but I work a job where I'm always needed and then come home to what you come home to. I wouldn't trade it for the world but I agree there are times where two minutes would be nice.

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  3. I am also a teacher and this has been my first year working with two little ones at home (plus we also went through the process of moving this year) and it is EXHAUSTING and makes for a lot of guilt. I often feel guilty that I'm not 100% on at work, that my students use up all my niceness and energy so that by the time I get home to my two girls, I'm impatient and cranky. I have written on this soooo many times I wouldn't even know which post to refer you to so hope you just nose around my blog at http://glennbabies.blogspot.com. There's a lot of pieces on mommy guilt and needing a second to myself.

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  4. Oh friend. I can only imagine. I remember teaching all day WITHOUT having a baby at home- just dogs and a husband- and needing an hour to be left alone as soon as I got home. I seriously can't even imagine throwing a baby into that mix. You're doing awesome and you deserve your 2 seconds. I hope you get it soon!

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