Saturday, May 25, 2013

Top Ten: Unexpected Baby Messes

This. All over your tub
10. Bath time. Supposed to be all squeaky clean and soapy right? Yeah, except for when your kid is covered from head to to in sweet potato. Then you have to bathe her. Wash out the baby tub. And then Drano the actual tub because the sweet potato squished all up in the drain. 

The calm before
the splash
9. Sippy cups. Sounds innocent, right? Aren't they specifically made to prevent messes? Yet somehow your kid will find a way to spill it everywhere. Whether it's tossing it on the floor and breaking the plastic or tearing the straw apart on the ones with a straw. 

8. Nursing. All mom's who have ever nursed feel me on this one. You think the messiest part will be the baby spitting up. Yeah, no... the messiest parts are the leaking and squirting (so sorry if that's TMI, but seriously, I had days when we were first establishing nursing where I would go through six shirts in a day)

Laundry baskets make
great baby jail
7. Laundry. Nope, not the dirty laundry. That's to be expected. It's when you spend an hour folding 5 loads of laundry just to have your baby crawl over and start whipping clothes around like it's a bachelor party. You have two options here; refold all of it (yeah right) or just leave it all on the floor (which actually makes picking out clothes easier for the next couple of days)

Yes, some of those
may be dog toys...
my kid's not picky
Nice neat pile of toys?
Don't mind if I do
6. The baby toys. We used to have a place for stuff... now it's just baby toys everywhere. The moment you put something away,  they pull out four more things. It's a futile effort that you find yourself fruitlessly attempting on a daily basis. 

Creepy hippo
Oh, the bath toys!
5. The bath tub. Yeah, I mentioned getting the tub full of partially eaten food. Even better though, is just trying to take a shower yourself. It used to be just you in there. Now it's you, a couple of toy boats and a creepy looking plastic hippo that may be staring at you the whole time.

4.  The dog food. Apparently when it's not looking delicious, it's looking perfect for throwing. There may have been days when the poor dog hasn't gotten to eat because we've had to put the bowl out of the baby's reach. 

3. The baby crap. Not just toys. It's the pack n' plays, jumpers, high chairs, etc. Got a nice big breezeway? Good. Cause you're going to need space for the carry pack and stroller. Why, you ask, is my stroller in the breezeway? Well, that would be because my little bitty will sometimes only nap if you push her around the kitchen for 10-20 minutes... and also because I'm deathly afraid of spiders getting on the stroller if we leave it in the garage. 

2. Papers. They don't sound like good baby toys, do they? Ahh, but you forget how much fun it is to tear up Mommy's important paper work. Like tests she's grading for her students. It's even more fun to gum on (and possibly eat part of) a save the date card. Or to drool on bills that are due. Just know that if you receive papers that are stained, torn, water damaged, or otherwise marred, that's just Fynn saying hello. And that your papers are yummy. 

This. Ends up everywhere.
1. The food. Yes, you expect it on your clothes, their clothes, their hair, the floor, the high chair and a myriad of other locations... but did you realize that it would end up in your hair? True story. No matter how well you clean up after baby meal time, there will be food that ends up in your hair. Or on your wall. Or on your shoe. Which was in another room. A room you're pretty sure the kid wasn't even in today... still not sure how that one happened.

So there you have it. 10 ways I never expected my kid to make a mess. Life is a constant balance of trying to keep the house kinda-sorta-maybe clean. But it makes for some great stories, and a lot of laughs. 

1 comment:

  1. Well this was simply hilarious. I read just about the whole thing out loud to my husband. We're expecting our first in... I guess about a week. Yikes. But yea, the sweet potatoes? Food in your hair? Swinging clothes overhead like at a bachelor party? Too good. I'm sure it's not fun or funny when it's happening, but I appreciate your sharing it!


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