Tuesday, October 15, 2013

TBD: The weaning process aka give me my body back!

After 15 months of nursing, I'm ready to be done.


Sorry, does that make me a bad mom?

I'm okay with that. 

Seriously, after 9 months of pregnancy and 15 months of nursing... that's 24 months worth literally sharing my body with another human being. Two years people. TWO YEARS.

My original nursing goal was a year, then we'd see from there. This summer Fynn was nursing about 6-7 times a day, and it really didn't bother me. I loved our snuggly time together.

Then school started back up again. I was sending 4-8 ounces of breastmilk to daycare a day, but I really just didn't have the time or desire to pump at work. I was using up my freezer stash and figured when that was gone, then she just wouldn't have breastmilk at daycare anymore. I weaned myself off pumping (which is a whole post in itself), and went from there.

Obviously, with her being at daycare during the day, Fynn naturally cut out several of her nursing sessions. Once we were in our daily routine, we were nursing 3-4 times a day. First thing in the morning, once or twice in the evening before bed and then once at 3-4 AM if she woke up in the middle of the night.

In the past 6 weeks, we've both cut back more. I cut out our late afternoon session because I realized she was just nursing because she was thirsty and getting ready for dinner. A sippy cup of milk and earlier dinner fixed that. Then she stopped wanting to nurse before bed. She was focused so much on shower, playtime and books that she just didn't seem interested and I wasn't going to push it.

For the past week or so, we've only nursed around 4 or 5 in the morning. That time when she wakes up, but I'm not ready to get up yet. If I let her nurse, and put her back in her crib, she'll sleep until 6:30/7... which is a beautiful, beautiful thing. 

I want to wean completely, but I value my sleep much more, so for now this is working for us. I know I'm going to be sad and a little nostalgic when we're done for good, but right now the hope that soon my body will be all my own again is a blissful thought. Weaning has been a funny process. I'm torn. I desperately want my body back, but I like the end of our nursing relationship is the end of her babyhood, the end of that bond we've created, the end of that special connection. I know that sounds a little irrational, and that we'll still love each other just as hard... but it's hard to imagine our relationship without nursing in it.

3 comments:

  1. 15 months is awesome mama! We're on 29 months right now and I have been very conflicted about weaning for a long time now. One one hand I am SO ready to wean so that I can get back on a certain medication that I've been without for way too long now, but on the other it's such a special bond, and my daughter only nurses a few times a day now- sometimes only once, and yesterday she didn't nurse at all! I'm pretty certain she's going to be our only child, so it's sad to think that this will be it. I'm just trying to let her direct how things go while I'm still so indecisive- plus she won't drink any other kind of milk!

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  2. I love that picture!! You look amazing and she looks so much like you! And yay for weaning!

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  3. You ROCK for going this long! And you may feel a little sad when you're both completely done but yes, it'll feel great to have your body back to yourself. Also, Fynn looks ADORABLE and so so big.

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