Thursday, February 20, 2014

So I got to thinking...

As anyone with a toddler knows, once your kid hits a year, people start throwing out the "when are you going to have another one?" line in its various forms. I get it all the time. Obviously it's on my mind, and Katie's post the other day just brought it up again.

Do I want more kids?

                                If so, when?

                                               How do you know when your family is complete?

I have no answers. There are day when I'm all Hell no, we're one and done because I can't fathom how I could survive having two kids when I can barely handle just the one. I'm overwhelmed on a daily basis with her and constantly feel like I'm the crappiest mom ever (why yes, we did watch 4 episodes of Daniel Tiger on Monday because I've been battling a cold for the past week and Fynn's been battling being an obnoxious toddler).

Then there are the days when I reminisce about being pregnant and the awe-inspiring beauty of growing a human being. The moment of recognition when your 10-second old baby is placed on your chest. The ultimate heart-swelling love that I feel for my little girl. I have those moments and I think, How can I not have more? I look at my sweet baby girl who is 1 1/2 going on 15 and I know that she would be the best big sister. Who am I to deprive her of that?

Of course, I have to somewhat consider Drew. Granted, I pretty much strong-armed him into this the first time around, so I know I can't do that again. While he loves Fynn more than he ever thought possible, pre-Fynn the idea of kids was not all that appealing to him. He may have changed his stance somewhat, but I know that having more isn't exactly on his top ten list.

So I'm thinking. And wondering. And hoping the answers are out there, ready to fill me in. I like to have a plan, a vision of where we are heading, but right now this family thing is so up in the air, that I just don't know. 


  1. I think your thought process is totally normal. Everyone waffles back and forth and I don't think you ever really "know" if it's the right choice for you or not. By the way, you and Drew both look fantastic! You can really see all the hard work you guys have been doing!

  2. Funny that you wrote this post because it's something we've been talking about as well. Before Lily, Erin always said we wouldn't wait more than three years for another. Now she's up in the air for similar reasons as you. For us, we're going to see how things go financially this year because that's a big part of it for us too. By the way, we watch Daniel Tiger a lot and Lily is obsessed with Thomas the Train.

  3. I hate those questions. I have two boys and everyone asks me when I'm having a girl. Who said I wanted one?

  4. I had a distant family member ask if I was pregnant at a funeral a few months ago. When I was gobsmacked, she then justified her ask by saying 'well, N's 3, so it's expected it's about time'. I was mad that someone could actually come out and say that. You never know what the parents want, how easy or hard it is for people to fall pregnant, and anyway, it's none of anyone else's business.

    I always thought I wasn't fussed about children. Then I decided that yes I wanted to at least try, and now we have one and he's great. I love it. I had thought that if I had kids I'd have 2, but my husband's not keen to have another (I thought he'd have wanted lots), so we'll be sticking with one. Saves the worry about money, childcare costs etc, because there's no way even on my salary I could afford 2 lots of childcare at the costs around here.

    I think everyone wonders, because after having one, it can impact your original thoughts quite a lot. What's true, is that it's only your 2 decisions, noone elses.

  5. My only child is now three and I am a little stressed about figuring out if we are done or if we'll have another. I really want another but a few things have to change before such as a new home and my husband needs a new job but it's hard to know are we done or not?!

  6. I did a post on this a few weeks ago too- we are 100% one and done! I have an IUD and I'd like my husband to get a vasectomy sooner than later. I'd do something permanent to myself if it were easier or they were already in there, haha.


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