Friday, May 2, 2014

Making (rather, keeping) friends

I have this problem... I'm a crappy friend.

I don't mean that I'm not a nice person (though, sometimes I'm not) or that I'm not there for my friends (I 100% am). I mean that I get so caught up in work/Fynn/life... that I let friendships slide.

I'm working on that.

I'm making more and more of an effort to reconnect with friends I haven't spoken to in weeks months. Last week was a perfect example. I had play dates with two awesome friends and their little ones. It was awesome. The kids played and had a blast, and I got to reconnect with friends that I love, just never get to see.

Here's the problem; I'm busy and I'm lazy. Between work, grad school, Fynn, running, and all the other crap that fills my daily schedule; I don't often think to call or text friends. First, I hate talking on the phone, even to people I love to death, I just don't enjoy it. Second, I just don't think about it. All of sudden I'll be sitting there and realize it's been six months since I even talked to one of my best friends! On the rare occasion that I'm not busy, I'm often too lazy to plan things with friends. I know, it's horrible, but sometimes the thought of getting dressed or cleaning up the health hazard that my kitchen has become is just too daunting... so I give up and find something else to do. 
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Then I think about it; they're my friends. They shouldn't judge me because my sink is overflowing with dishes that are 4 days old, or care that there are goldfish crumbs scattered on my floor. I don't care about these things when I'm at their houses. I just need to get over myself and worry about the important things, like staying in touch with the people I love.

So here goes, I'm making an effort. I'm scheduling play dates with my Mommy friends and get-togethers with my non-Mommy friends. I'm sending that random text to check in or (gulp) actually dialing the phone to chat while I'm driving home from work. I don't want to lose awesome friends just because I'm too self-absorbed to make the effort.

Do other people have this same problem? Do you find it hard to keep up friendships when life gets busy?

3 comments:

  1. Absolutely. I don't even have kids yet and I was just talking to a friend about this exact thing. It's HARD to be social. You work 40 hours a week, have a couple hours a night to chill at home maybe, but if you have kids, that gets eaten up too, then there's laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping...by the time the weekend rolls around, I want to just sit and do nothing for 10 minutes. But friends want to hang out. Even then ,you might only see a certain friend once a month but obviously if you have more friends, you see them on different weekends, and by the time a month is over, you're due to see the friend you saw at the beginning of the month all over again. It's exhausting! That being said...it is worth it to put in the effort, because then those people are there for you when it really counts. Totally get where you're coming from though.

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  2. I am happy to see you guys any time (with or without my camera attached to my face). If you ever want to run together this summer, let me know! And yes, I totally understand the phone thing. I hate the phone. Adding more awkwardness to my already awkward life is just wrong, and that's what the phone does. No thanks.

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  3. I don't know how you manage to do everything you do since it seems you have a full plate on your hands. I find it hard to stay in touch with others as well, yet I try to not let too much time pass because as a friend once told me, "thats not a friendship". Remember that friendship is a two way street, others have to make an effort to contact you as well. Its funny how you don't like to talk on the phone, I hate it as well. Texting is a blessing in disguise.

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