Thursday, May 28, 2015

And then it all hit me

I've been fine about coming back to work today. Actually kind of looking forward to it. Interaction with adults, the last couple of weeks of school and then summer vacation- I was ready.

And then it all hit me.

Today I leave my baby. My teeny tiny human who thus far has been completely in my care for almost 14 weeks. I flipped out the other day, just thinking about it. I'm egotistical enough to worry that he won't be okay without me... that he needs me and me alone. I'm THAT important, apparently.

But really, what if he's not? What if he won't take a bottle today? What if my mom can't get him to take a nap? What if Fynn is a major beast and my mom decides that she will never again watch my kids again (after a day with them both,  I could see it happening).

The bottle was the biggest thing; we dropped the ball on bottles with Bentley and haven't given him as many as we should have. Saturday Drew watched the kids for 3 hours in the morning while I got a hair cut and B refused to take a bottle, struggled to nap and made things rough for Drew... that's what got me worrying. If Drew had such a hard time, how are other people going to manage? My heart sank and I just started crying.

By the time this post publishes, I will be on my way to work. Probably crying. Definitely working. And already counting down the hours until I get back home.

Just breathe. 16 days. I can do this.

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