Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Pumping at work when you're super stressed

I know I eluded to how hard going back to work was last month. While a big part was being sad about leaving my babies, the hardest part was pumping. I love my job, I love teaching and my students and how crazy busy fun it can all be. But, the end of the school year is it's own brand of crazy-busy and trying to find the time to pump 4 times a day at the end of the school year is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. 

Due to the stress, I was having a hard time pumping. While I was used to getting 4-7 ounces at a time when pumping (and that was between feedings during long naps!), I was getting 2-3 ounces at a time when pumping in place of feedings. I needed 12-16 ounces a day to send to daycare... see the math there? It was a nightmare. I felt like all day every day was just a mad scramble to pump enough milk. I pumped in the car on the way to work, during my AM prep period, during lunch, at the end of the school day, and on the way home and I still was just barely scraping by. 

I dipped into my frozen milk to get me through a couple of days there, but I couldn't do that much as breastfeeding is a supply-demand system... if I didn't demand the full amount I needed each day, then my system wouldn't create it. It was seriously such a relief that last day of school to know I wouldn't be pumping more than once a day (if that) for a while. 

Something's got to give. While it's great to have the summer off to not worry about pumping, September is going to come awfully quickly and I'll be in the same boat again. Hopefully at that point I wont be quite as stressed (yeah, right. Combine the beginning of the school year with my second to last grad school class? Yeah, that won't be stressful). Or maybe I'll figured out a way to be more effective with pumping... I don't know. I'm not ready to even entertain the idea of weaning or supplementing, but I know pumping so often increased my stress which decreased my output, so I'll have to find a way to relax and let it all happen.

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