Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Days like today are why naps are sacred

Bentley had his 1 year check up today, so I took a half day off from work because getting a sub for half a day is easier than finding coverage to leave an hour early... riddle me that one #educationmakessense.

Speaking of fish*. Half day. Went to the good old Wally World for some deodorant (for me) and sneaks (for Bentley). After moseying around the store for an hour (and only buying those two items, you're welcome, Drew), and blissfully enjoying the fact that I was alone! at the store! and not on a major time crunch! I headed to my parent's house to pick up the kids. Usually my mom watches them at our house on Mondays, but they're house is closer to the doctors and oh-emm-gee get to the freaking point already, Amanda.

Okay. Went to get the kids. Needed to leave parents' house around 2:30 for doctors appointment, so had stressed in the morning that my mom could/should maybe try to get the kids down early for their naps. Got there to discover that hadn't happened. Sighed. Got them ready and headed out.

.003 seconds of peace. AKA the eye of the storm
And all hell broke loose. Fynn melted on the way to the doctors because she wanted to go home and never wanted to have another sleepover and lord knows what else, but it meant 25 minutes of whining (her), crying (both of us), and yelling (mostly her). Managed the 18 minute waiting room wait with just Bentley "eh. eh. eh." ing because he was tired and wanted to be held (and by held I mean nursed to sleep). Got them both into the room where the nurse asked 1,623,877 stupid questions (nope, he still doesn't sleep through the night, yes, I feel safe in my house) while both kids climbed all over me and made enough noise that I had to awkwardly half yell my answers and have her repeat half the questions.

Then she left, and I was enclosed in the room with the banshees wishing I was back at work. Bentley was determined to open every drawer and stand in front of the door that I was sure was going to be flung open any second and Fynn repeatedly climbed up and down the exam table while whining. At this point was also when Fynn informed me that someone needs to kill me. That was heartwarming. Once the doctor finally got in there (36 minutes after our scheduled appointment time) the yelling over the screeching continued. Fynn decided she needed to stand behind me on the chair while half strangling me and shouting in my ear while Bentley cried when the doctor looked at him, talked to him, or generally for the entire time. At one point, the doctor looked at me and said "are you going to be okay?"

No.

The ride home was just as long and lovely. Bentley fell asleep for about 20 minutes before I woke him up because if that nightmare of an afternoon continued into the evening hours I was going to lose what little semblance of sanity I'm still holding on to. As I fed the kids dinner, emptied the dishwasher, and desperately counted down the minutes until Drew got home, all I could think about was how I had woken up that morning thinking it was going to be such an easy day. Just a half day of work and a doctors appoint...so easy.

*A friend from high school used to say this when changing topics and for some reason, 11 years later, it came back to me. I call it inspired. You call it stupid. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.

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